The Gorilla Cavalry

Trip Start Nov 20, 2006
1
8
16
Trip End Apr 10, 2009


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Flag of Australia  ,
Monday, January 15, 2007

First of all I have to request that everyone stop referring to this as a blog...blogs are stupid and the word is stupid...call this a Domination Journal...or Devestation Diary...something cool like that.

The new beginning of the South Pacific Historical, Geological,
Anthropological and Otherwise Informational Survey by a Canadian
Adventure-ologist...tician and his Good Mule Kyle.

About a week ago now the fate of Australia was sealed in a doom shaped envelope.
While my good mule Kyle had been hired as a pack animal for some Irish travelers to go north to Exmouth I stayed at the hostel as per my fathers requests.
This is about how I remember the conversation.

Dad: "You have a package coming son, a few of us put our heads together...you'll like it."

Me: "Boy golly dad...is it a big screen TV?"

Dad: "I always regret raising such a stupid son, son."

Me: "Is it a rifle?"

Dad: "It's never the same color...wait maybe brown...uh I can't say anymore...I'm a terrible liar."

Me: "OK Dad, on a scale of 1 to 10 how much will I like it?"

Dad: "10...no wait 9, um maybe 6 I dunno. It's awesome. Uh might be handy for...um hunting."

Me: "Is it a big screen TV? Thats every backpackers dream ya know Dad, a 36 inch plasma screen that I can attach to my forehead and all my friends will admire how THIN it is."

Dad: "Um..."

Me: "Ok Dad I'll wait and find out in the morning when its supposed to get here"

Dad: "Ok, I'll talk to you later"

Me: "OK, bye"

Dad: "OK"

Me: "Alright take care"

Dad: "OK, OK"

Me: "uh ok see ya"

Dad: "OK"

Me:"OK"

Dad:"OK"

Me: "OK" *click*

When the morning arrived I got up at seven and awaited my new package...I assumed by this point it was either a speargun or a rifle or something like a tank for the domination of Australia. A girl that works at the hostel came up to me and said "hey Jordan we have a surprise for Hanna outside for her Birthday". Hanna and Her boyfriend Michael (sry spelling) traveled overland from Asia and somehow became friends with me so I went outside to see what was up.

As I walked out the front door Swedish Mike was standing there with a shit eating grin on his face and 3 or 4 others were standing around staring at me like I'd grown a nipple on my cheek. I took a sip of my water and instantly managed to suck it into my lungs as I noticed my parcel.

The Gorilla Cavalry had arrived.

There was my brother randomly standing in the entrance to my hostel on the wrong side of the planet. Having bought his plane ticket 2 days before he had obviously planned this out exceptionally.

I choked and ran up and tackled him and then had to sit down as I thought I might have a heart attack.

Since he's been here we've gone on some pretty good adventures. Yesterday we went water skiing and wake boarding. The two days before that we spent catching big honkin blue crabs in the estuary of Mandurah. This was a blast and we later learned where we were swimming is where the nice big sharks are. Hooray! I still have legs! We've also done some good snorkeling and saw a freaking huge stingray. It was very aggressive and as soon as it spotted us it got territorial and came right at us. Needless to day I disappeared in a puff of brown smoke. Basically I crapped my pants and swam.

The day the Gorilla Cavalry arrived was a dark day for the natives of this continent. If we dominate this place half as much as we did guiding in Panorama then hope is litterally lost for these poor people. Two Stanichs with a mule named Kyle will have no problem tearing this continent apart and rebuilding it in Canada's image...minus the French and Stink Hippies.

I have to go now and retrieve my Good Mule Kyle from the hostel before he eats the plants.
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Comments

ameliarunsaway
ameliarunsaway on

there goes the country
well i see you've already crashed a paddle steamer into a bridge and trained stingrays to attack aussie icons on the other side of the country retrospectively. hmmm.
let me know well in advance when you will be on this side of the wide brown land. perhaps you could conquer some creatures to put out bushfires and blow all the smoke away. people are going to get rickets from this smoke haze blocking out the sun!
er... i mean, come to victoria! its sunny and magical!! its on fire and has no water!! hoooray!!
ok take care now
amelia

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