At the End...
Trip Start
Mar 02, 2003
1
41
Trip End
Jul 04, 2005
Omaha, Nebraska
Saturday, May 28, 2005
I COSed (COS = Close of Service) on April 27th, 2005. That date was exactly 26 months after I first arrived in Ukraine. I chose (as many volunteers do) to move up my official COS date from May 27th to April because I felt that my service as a volunteer had been fulfilled and that I was ready to return to life as a "civilian".
The last few days I was in Kyiv, still as PCV, were very difficult emotionally and psychologically. I knew I was facing the inevitability of belonging to myself and no one else. Never again would I have to fill out an "absence from site" form informing Peace Corps where I was going on the weekend and contact phone numbers. I would no longer need permission to do anything... I could ride a bicycle without a helmet if I so chose and I would not be fired from my job. (Yes, if a PCV is caught without a helmet while on a bike they are immediately sent home) At the same time I found myself feeling that I no longer belonged anywhere. For over two years I'd identified with being a Peace Corps Volunteer, what the hell was I going to say now? "Oh, well, I'm a RPCV..." I felt that I could only identify with those few people that I served in Ukraine with - they would understand. And once I talked to my friends about my feelings, I realized that I was not the only one feeling this way.
Of course I was ecstatic to be done with Peace Corps and all the bureaucracy associated with it. I feel so happy and confident about the things that I achieved as a volunteer, and will feel so for the rest of my life. In the month that I've been home my service has come up on many, many occasions and often I hear the same thing "Gee, I really wish I had done the Peace Corps". Or "You know I almost applied one time". Contrary to all those people that hoped and wished to be a volunteer, I was. I realized in the last month that RPCVs (Returned Peace Corps Volunteers) truly are outstanding Americans among my peers. These are people that gave up everything and did it - they didn't just think about it or hope for it - they actually pulled up their bootstraps and got into the mud. Was it the "toughest job I ever loved" as the Peace Corps website touts it? Well, that I don't know. What I do know is that through the last two years I have experienced feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, elation, surprise, fear, and pride like I have never in my entire life. There were a lot of tough days and there were definitely a lot of really fabulous ones, but what I remember the most is the friends and acquaintances I made along the way.
I will say that the last month I've spent in the United States has made me appreciate what a beautiful country we live in. Of course I noticed things like obesity (even the squirrels are fat!), but what struck me most was the incredible diversity, not just in cultures, but biologically and within our surroundings. I had a chance to drive from Spokane, WA south through Oregon, California, through Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado with my sister on her way to Omaha from law school. The Columbia River Gorge, the Oregon Coast, California Red Woods, the Painted Desert, the Rockies, rivers, streams, mountains, ocean, elk, deer, cougar, bear, hummingbirds, falcons... I could go on and on. We are so lucky to live in a country so plentiful with natural wonders. I appreciated these things so much more after my return from Ukraine - they have not ceased to amaze me, and I look forward to returning to the United States at some point to spend more time in our parks, preserves, and wild places. (In fact, it made me even angrier about the apathetic stand we've taken on drilling in the Alaskan National Reserve... in a country with so much space we're infringing upon some of the last wild lands on the entire continent - is that huge Escalade really worth it? I don't think so. Sorry about the little rant - but it is important.
And, today I'm packing - tomorrow I'm returning to Ukraine. Yup, I guess I just couldn't get enough. The last six months I was in Kyiv I did a lot of very deep soul-searching. I wanted to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and where I wanted to go. I applied to graduate school, but I also started applying for jobs. I applied for jobs all over the world - Ukraine, Thailand, Sudan, Tajikistan - you name it - I just knew I didn't want to be back in the United States anytime soon. While I was applying for jobs I also got notice that I'd been accepted to graduate school - so now what you may wonder??
I'm returning to Ukraine for a job. It's a little complicated so I'm not going to get into it right now - but what I'll say is that the organization I'll be working for is vying for a grant from USAID (The United States Agency for International Development) and once they receive it I'll have a job. When that happens, I'll let you all know. As for graduate school, well, the job is fabulous and will allow me to save enough money in one year to avoid loans - to me, that's a no-brainer. In the meantime, I'm going back to Kyiv to hangout and travel - and as an incredible added bonus my sister, Claudia, is coming with me. Watch out Kyiv, the Koziol sisters are close at hand!!! ;-) As for where we're planning on travelling... well, we're currently exploring options ranging from St. Petersburg for the White Nights to Turkmenistan to the Caucuses and who knows, perhaps even Africa... you never know with us.
So, that's all folks. I'll be posting one more travel blog soon with my trip to Chernobyl. I wasn't able to post it earlier because as a Peace Corps Volunteer I was not permitted to go there - and I didn't really want to get kicked out... yeah, very bad, but very cool trip. I'll probably post the pictures first because the Internet connections is significantly better here than it is in Ukraine.
As soon as I have a new mailing address and interesting things to tell about I'll write again, but it will no longer be under the Peace Corps heading... it's time for new adventures, and I can hardly wait!
