A brief history of Hong Kong.

Trip Start Oct 02, 2005
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Trip End Sep 28, 2006


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Flag of Hong Kong  ,
Tuesday, September 12, 2006

About 200 years ago Britian and China started talking to each other. Not much, just a sort of passing in the street and the 'smile and nod' gesture. The British then come up to China and say:

"Hi! How's it going? Listen, there's a big demand for your tea and silk back home, so we were wondering if we could trade a few things?"

China then says: "And what the FRIG do you have that we could want?"

"Well, we've got maufactured goods, and..."

"Manufactured goods?! You're kidding right? All our stuff is handmade, what the hell would we want your shite for?"

"Well, we also have lots of gold and silver, maybe we could...."

"Are you taking the piss? This is China mate, we're full of gold and silver."

"Ok, how about..."

"Look, just piss off, alright? There's nothing you have that we want. Don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out."

Britian then says: "Oh, ok then. We'll be on our way. Here's a little leaving present. It's from India. It's called opium."


Not long after, China gives Britian a wee bell on the mobile.

"Hi, Britian? Hey! How's it going?! This is China! Long time no speak!"

"Can we help you with something old bean?"

"Yeah actually, we were just wondering if you've got any of that opium stuff left? You see the entire country has sorta become hooked on it, and we've run out."

"Actually we have quite a bit left. Of course it's not going to be cheap...."

"Name your price."

"Hong Kong Island."

"THAT wee shitty island? It's a dump! No-one even lives there! Except a bunch of spear chucking savages. You want it? You got it."

"Why thank you very much dear chap, thats very considerate of you, and may I say...."

"Whatever, just give me my fix."
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