When You Coming Home Mike?

Trip Start Jul 05, 2005
1
18
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Trip End Jul 20, 2005


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Flag of United Kingdom  ,
Friday, April 7, 2006

I am not much of a musician, and therefore the song I wrote about the Pennine Way is set to the tune of another classic - Cats in the Cradle. Which version of the song you set it to kind of depends on your mood, and how high up a bloody mountain you are.

The song started as something to sing at Karim to annoy him. Then it became something to occupy my mind when I was going crazy. Eventually, it became a testement to the Pennine Way, and a reminder. I remember saying to Karim "If we ever start to look back on this episode with rose tinted glasses, this song should remind us of the score".

And that's what it is. An Ode, to the Pennine Way.

When You Coming Home, Mike?

An idea arrived, just the other day,
Came to my head in the usual way,
I thought "I'm going to take a long holiday,
And use the time to walk The Pennine Way",

I was walking before I knew it, and as I went,
I thought I'm not too sure about this...
I'm not at all sure about this........

With a map and a compass and some waterproofs,
My mate Karim and some walking shoes,
When you coming home Mike?
I don't know when,
I don't think this path is gonna end,
This path, ain't ever gonna end....

Well we're onto day six and my feet are getting worse,
What I wouldn't give for a sympathetic nurse,
My boots no longer fit so I'm throwing them away,
Looks like I'm in trainers for the rest of the way,
I'm proud of the achievement, don't get me wrong,
I just wish achieving wouldn't take so fucking long....

With a map and a compass and some waterproofs,
This guy Karim and inappropriate shoes,
When you coming home Mike?
I don't know when,
I don't think this path is gonna end,
This path, ain't ever gonna end....

Now it's day 16 and we're almost there,
I can almost taste that filthy city air,
Just 8 more miles and we're free from this curse,
Back to real like which can't be any worse,
A bath and a good meal will be very nice,
No more Bachelors Fucking Savoury Rice....

With a map and a compass and some waterproofs,
This guy Karim and inappropriate shoes,
When you coming home Mike?
I don't know when,
I don't think this path is gonna end,
This path, ain't ever gonna end....

Well I finished the walk, got married move away,
I still have nightmares about the Pennine Way,
It was a shame to hear that Wainwright's* dead,
I'd kind of like to put a bullet in that fucker's head,
My son came to see me just the other day,
He said I know dad, let's walk the Pennine Way,

And as I hit him with the phone it occurred to me.
I hate, the Pennine Way,
Fuck you, the Pennine Way......

With a map and a compass and some waterproofs,
This guy Karim and inappropriate shoes,
When you coming home Mike?
I don't know when,
I don't think this path is gonna end,
This path, ain't ever gonna end....




*For true completists, Wainwright is the guy who invented the Pennine Way. I had a lot of hate in me.
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