The Spring Creep: A Flurry of Banquets

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  Nikaho, Tohoku, Japan
Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Spring has landed and the weather has ripened. Her warm westerly winds brought the Tohoku Region bearable weather and friendly fire from North Korea. In case it missed newspapers at home, North Korea sent a "satellite" into "orbit" three days ago. But, it seems to be that the "satellite" was actually a long-range ballistic missile that didn't fly into "orbit," but rather splashed into Pacific Ocean some 2,000 kilometers off the east coast of Japan. The unsettling part was that North Korea aimed the missile over Akita Prefecture, which is where I live. It was enough to make me run around my house naked yelling and the government deploy SM-3 interceptors to the Sea of Japan and ground-based PAC-3 missiles (whatever those are) to Akita and Iwate Prefectures. Fortunately enough, Kisakata wasn't the Zero Point and no debris fell on Japan or my humble abode. Even if it had, I'm afraid I would've been safe, for I spent all winter turning my roof into an ablative shield.

In other breaking news, after some worries over pelvic pressure in February, March delievered a successful cesarean birth to tears, cheers, and beers. In Japan, March signals the end of the academic year, which begins in April. With students going every which way for high school, circles of friends are locally separated and career paths are lineographically etch a sketched. The celebrations sure matched the significance, as there were close to ten enkais in March and up til now in April. Some of you may be unfamiliar with enkais. Enkai is the japanese word meaning "party" or "banquet." As with many banquets back at home, enkais here usually have themes. For example, one of the enkais in March is called "sobetsu kai" which means "Farewell Party" (for those teachers moving schools, which happens every year). Other examples of enkais are Kangei Kai (Welcome Party), Bounen Kai (Year End Party), Shinnen Kai (New Year Party), and Buretto Kai (Brett's Party). Standing on a trilateral power base of laughter, joy, and beer, enkais rarely go wrong so long as you know the rules - or proper etiquette. Here are some.

1. They must start before 6pm. Don't be late.
2. Only Pour for others. If need be, overfill someone elses' drink to bring attention to your empty glass, and then apologize when they pour for you.
3. If you take food from the community dish, use the back end of your chopsticks unless told to not worry.
4. After an hour, the Great Migration begins and people move around, sitting just about wherever in groups of two, three, or four, pouring drinks for each other, exchanging stories, and talking about feelings. Don't be Debbie Downer in the corner. Grab a beer or juice, find yourself a niche, and pour some drink for someone. Also, know "taps" never applies if you get up, so once you do, keep moving.
5. Never decline a drink. But if you'd rather not drink it, take a tiny sip and hold on to it. That way, no other drink can be poured into it. Usually.
6. If they ask you, "Do you like whiskey?" say no...unless you want a large glass of...just whiskey.
7. Bathroom breaks are like time outs. You only have a few, so use them wisely.
8. After the enkai, there are nijikais and sanjikais (second and third parties at regular bars or karaoke bars). Why not?
9. Expect the unexpected.

Remember to use number seven and careful of nine. You just may end up singing Dani California in front of seventy people or giving the closing kampai (cheers) speech.

We banqueted on lobster that night.

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