Is this the norm?

Trip Start Sep 18, 2007
1
8
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Trip End Oct 05, 2007


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Flag of Spain  ,
Sunday, September 30, 2007

Benidorm is a place that is better left to your imagination. It, by far, is the strangest place that I have been EVER! It beats out Tobercurry, County Sligo, that's for sure.

With the exception of its gorgeous beach (still one of the ten best in the world), Benidorm is a haven of strange folk. The British say Benidorm is like Blackpool with sun. I haven't been to Blackpool, but I almost might have to go to compare notes.

Every tourist, man, woman and child have tattoos and lots of them. It is very difficult to fine authentic food unless you go to the old town. Other than that, you are a slave to Beans on Toast, and Beans on Toast and Beans on Toast. I used to like Beans on Toast at one time, but I ate too much of it there.

We toured around to different bars to see what was going on. We found a couple of Irish places and Joe got to talking with the ownder of one bar named Tom. He was an older fella, missing some teeth, from Athlone in Co. Meath. Joe asked him if he got to the beach much. Tom said yanked up his shirt and said, "Does it look like I get out into the sun??" We had a good laugh because it was quite obvious he didn't. Tom's bar had a nice sized pool out back, too and really big screen TV's in the bar. He even had a sign saying that they sold Viagra. Lovely...

We also went to another bar and met an English guy who had an immaculate establishment. He kept busy by writing the times of the soccer and rugby matches on the boards. Then, he would strategically place them outside in front of the bar. Then twenty minutes later, he would bring them in and do them again. This went on for a while. His mother seemed to be his best customer. We went in to see him again the next night and Joe won the bet we had, which was betting if his mom would be there, and she was. The one thing I can say is that Benidorm has so many pubs, the competition is pretty high.

Finally, and probably the most horrific part of the trip was Sticky Vicky. This woman became an obsession of Joe and I because we saw signs about her everywhere. Also, at night, there are teenage kids walking around promoting the bar they work for and everyone said Sticky Vicky was going to be there. What? How can she be at every bar at the same time? Is she like Santa when he's at every shopping mall during Christmas?

One night, Joe and killed our curiosity and went into a bar where she was about to perform. After her grand announcement, out came this 65 year old woman in a very loose dress. She went behind something that looked like a box and threw off her dress. Sticky Vicky dramatically strolled around the stage nude and started pulling items out of her throat. Then, she started pulling items out of her "Magic Vagina" like flowers and razor blades. The finale? Sticky Vicky presented onlookers with a beer bottle and would try to get people to open it. After three or four people couldn't she showed them that she could, with her bum. Yep, she stuck the bottle up there and cracked the it open. Mortified, Joe and I walked out of the bar and had a very quite walk back to the apartment. Neither of us had anything to say.

I will say that Sticky Vicky's choice of music was good. She did her whole act to Bhangra (kind of like Indian techno)!

The next day, Joe and I sort of ran out of Benidorm. I'd say that there was no way that Joe and I could even set up shop there. Glad we saw it, though, and I hope I don't have any dreams about that lady. Blech!

PS, I heard that Sticky Vicky has a daughter who also does the same act.
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Comments

cindyinqns
cindyinqns on

Sticky Vicky
Wow, I am speechless! Just speechless. I can't even open a bottle from down there at this age, never mind 65!

luisrodriguez
luisrodriguez on

Spanish sticky vagina
I googled sticky vicky and apparently she's famous! There's even a few videos of her and her magic vaginal tricks on YouTube!

amey on

ahhhh i watched sticky vicky. was hilarious!!!!!!!!!

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