The Difficult Reality
Trip Start Jun 28, 2013
61Trip End Ongoing
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Once I took a step away from the situation, a literal escape to nearby islands where life was virtually going on as if nothing had happened, the gravity of the work to be done was somewhat overwhelming. And now as the one month anniversary has arrived, I am still trying to take things day by day, forcing myself to stay in the moment, doing the most I can each day and letting myself be satisfied with that.
It is difficult for me to comprehend and accept. These months of construction, anticipation, community growth, excitement, thankfulness, happiness, hard work, dedication, the dirt, sweat, and tears of joy. And now to see my center partially destroyed, and yet again construction is needed to bring the center back to completion. It reflects the heart of the people of Cangumbang, damaged but not shut down. The beauty of the village, the ease, the simplicity, the innocence, the pure enjoyment of each moment, it has been stripped away exposing the most important aspect of all
I am struggling to find a contractor and design for the roof, I may have managed the constructino of the center and the development of the activities with the community, but this is my fault. I can purchase the supplies, get them to the village, and find the people to rebuild, but I need direction and at this moment I am having difficulties finding the right individual to guide me moving forward.
I look at the videos of the past, the first day of construction when the center seemed like only a dream. I often reflect on the emotions that came with each day on construction the frustration of needing a cement mixer but not being able to locate one, the satisfaction of a long days work, the joy and exhaustion when we poured the floor until the wee hours of the morning, the beauty of the blessing ceremony when the community could finally join together within the four walls of the center
I remember that these handprints were placed with a purpose, not only with love and joy, but with a plan, that no matter what weather would come upon them be it rain or sun, these handprints would remain intact as a symbol of their dedication and hard work. The handprints are still there, each and everyone. I have to remind myself of the community's power, so that I too can feel filled with their abilities and optimism and not become bogged down in the possibilities for misfortune or questions about the future, but continue to rejoice daily in the survival of each and every child and family in Cangumbang.