You Are Almost as Friendly as the Czech People

Trip Start Jun 08, 2008
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16
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Trip End Jul 09, 2008


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Flag of Czech Republic  , Moravia,
Thursday, June 26, 2008

Frankly, Johnny and I could not wait to leave the Czech Republic; we had nothing but problems in this country and the people were unhelpful and unfriendly for the most part.  On our last day in Brno we decided to go sightseeing and managed to see all the major sights within a few hours.  Probably the most interesting place we went to was the Capuchin Monk Monastery, where there are many dead preserved bodies of monks on display in the catacombs.  One preserved body was that of a little girl dressed in a shiny dress of sequins and beads, and the expression on her face still gives me goose bumps.  We managed to sneak into the catacombs right before closing, but had to leave quite quickly because the last thing we wanted to do was get stuck overnight in a basement with dead monks.
 
At this point in the day we were tired and hungry and decided to just grab a bite to eat at Selepka's yet again; the food is good and the beer is cheap, what more can you ask for?  However, we managed to run into Milosh the Colonel at the pub yet again and that led to some more good times.  We ordered several rounds of Starobrno to the table as well as the Moravian Platter, a slab of wood with a heaping pile of all meats and cheeses imaginable...for less than $10.  I said this before and I'll say it again, if anyone goes to Brno their number one priority should be to eat and drink at Selepka's. 
 
After gorging ourselves on unhealthy amounts of pork and chicken and drinking ridiculous amounts of Starobrno all three of us were ready to explode.  Milosh the Colonel remembered from the previous night that I was Ukrainian, and became convinced that I had to meet his Ukrainian fiancÚ.  Once she arrived she did not come empty handed, in her hand was a icebox filled with more meat.  Being Ukrainian I am used to the consumption of ungodly amounts of meat, but this was ridiculous.  Milosh the Colonel grabbed a big hunk of bochok (thick slabs of a bacon-like meat) and sliced us all a piece and forced us to eat more.  Over yet another beer, I told Milosh and his wife that they were the only friendly Czech people we had met on our sojourn through the country, to which they responded with agreement and a laugh.
 
Milosh the Colonel also forced me and his wife to have a conversation in Ukrainian, where I felt like a fool trying to communicate with this native fluent speaker with my god awful Lemko-infused Ukrainian.  But I did learn a few interesting things about her.  Despite growing up in the city of Mikolayiv, located in a heavily Russified part of Ukraine, she spoke perfect pure Ukrainian.  She told me this is because her father was once a member of the former revolutionary army of Ukraine (UPA) and he refused to allow his family to speak Russian in the home.  Her father also forced her to attend the same Ukrainian youth association that I am part of (CYM), something which she found quite amusing.  She could never imagine people in America having pride in their ethnic and racial pasts, and promised to tell her father of the American boy who is a proud Ukrainian.
 
As night fell and it became late we parted ways and said our goodbyes.  Johnny, in all his drunken brilliance, decided it would be funny to trip me on the walk back to our dormitory.  After falling on my face I thought about my experiences of unfriendly Czech people; I then turned to him and gave him the greatest insult ever, "You are almost as friendly as the Czech people."
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