Dirt Bikes, Polish Discotheques, and Vodka Cans

Trip Start Jun 08, 2008
1
8
24
Trip End Jul 09, 2008


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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The last time Derek went to Poland with Laryssa he returned with stories about riding Tomek's dirt bike around Stany annoying villagers and kicking up dust clouds.  He managed to annoy one Stany resident so much that the old man came out into the yard and started to yell at Derek in Polish threatening to kill him.  I can only imagine how Derek reacted to this incident; but Derek got the last laugh because the old man is now dead.
 
So after hearing these stories I was obviously really looking forward to riding these dirt bikes around Stany; and of course this is the one thing my parents were refusing to let me do (due to my tendency to injure myself).  Despite warnings to be careful and take it easy I hopped onto the bike, without knowing how to shift mind you, and took off.  I made it an entire three feet before I stalled the bike.  I stalled the bike so many times that day that I was willing to give up and just chalk it up to my inability to coordinate my hands and feet together.  However Tomek forced me to try it one more time, it was a big mistake on his part.  After barely making a lap around the street I tried to stop; instead of stopping I soon found the bike tipping over.  The bike decided that it was not going to stand up no more and took me down with it, snapping off the clutch and injuring my knee in the process.
 
After spending several days fixing the bike's clutch Tomek finally got it working and allowed us to ride it around Stany once more.  By this time I finally grasped the idea of up shifting and down shifting, as well as slowing down and stopping.  I took that bike out several days and explored the entirety of Stany driving through fields and paths in the forests.  At one time I found a deserted dirt road and took off reaching 65-70km/hr, when right in front of me appeared a deer.  I tried with all my might to slam on the brakes and avoid the deer but only caused the bike to start sliding and skidding across the rode.  After nearly wiping out and in the process pissing myself I decided that my dirt bike riding days in Poland are done for while.
 
Tomek owns a night club in a neighboring lake resort town called Klub Lesna, translated loosely to Club Forest.  It is the most popular club in the area after driving several other clubs out of business and after very nearly being destroyed by the Russian Mafia.  Tomek explained to me that when he first opened the club it was during a time that the Russian Mafia was heavily invested in that area.  Apparently Klub Lesna rapidly became the most successful and popular club in the area, thus gaining the attention of the mafia.  One day they came by the club demanding a cut of the profit for "protection;" Tomek obviously refused.  The Russians did not appreciate the refusal and roughed up Tomek quite a bit and pointed a gun to his head all the while telling him they would be back for the money.  The next day Tomek went and hired ten of the largest Polaks around for body guards and club security; when the Russian Mafia came back for collection Tomek's body guards beat the crap out of the Russians.  The mafia never came back again.
 
I had the privilege of going to Klub Lesna one night and was granted VIP status.  We had our own table as well as free drinks all night, it was quite the experience.  I was even allowed to go behind the bar for a while where I showed off my bartending skills, as well as sampling every drink.  The greatest part was the kielbasa stand that club has outside, it's fantastic.  Beer and kielbasa is a great combination. 
 
The last thing I want to mention about Stany, and Poland in general, is the presence of vodka cans.  Yes, you heard it right.  Just as in America we have a six pack of beer cans, in Poland there are six packs of vodka cans.  I stumbled across this genius invention in my cousin's liquor cabinet.  I'm not going to lie, I was tempted to shotgun it; however that may have ended very badly on my part.
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