Triple Chocolate Penetration

Trip Start Jul 05, 2013
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Trip End Ongoing


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Flag of United States  , Oregon
Tuesday, July 16, 2013

No, this doesn't refer to any kind of weird sexual encounter, unless you count donuts as sexual... Oh, but in case you don't know Portland is actually pretty damn weird! Therefore I like it...

First stop was the boltbus over the border, which was trouble free except the guy opposite me having some sniffly nose disorder - either that or he was on far too much cocaine, although no sniffer dogs sniffed him out so he was allowed to sniff onward and annoy the hell out of me. Luckily the bus had wifi and charging ports (ace) so uploaded stuff and generally wasted my time on Facebook.

When I arrived, quickly met up with my couchsurfing host Sarah, who along with her flatmates were really good people to hang out with over the next few days.

Portland, is kind of a different city in the sense it has no major attractions as such but is renowned for having some of the best food and beer in the country and has that kind of alternative feel and very eclectic people and personalities. My first stop was actually Powells book store which may actually be the biggest book store in the world but to me it was just a load of books, so next I hit up the usual tourist hotspot of Voodoo Donuts - home of the triple chocolate penetration and far too many others to remember or name but it was amazing :P in the queue for the donut shop I then got my first glimpses of some of the bums and well let's just say characters of Portland - grabbed a few little sly pictures to give an idea! The some old biddy probably in her 70s with David Bowie badges gurning her tits off was probably the most entertaining! Opposite was a live music venue with the slogan 'Keep Portland Weird' which is the cities motto and found most places so it does kind of pride itself of being different. Spent most of the first day just wandering around (waterfront, few bridges etc, standard park) before I got distracted by the brewery, which I stumbled upon by accident and stumbled out of quite a few hours later!

Happened to arrive in the two hour happy hour, and whilst they offer little sampler trays of all their current beers, I was determined to try them all... By the pint! The waitress had a little joke about it but I was entirely serious :P Unfortunately happy hour ran out but managed to get 5 pints in during that spell then wanted to go over to another area of town but got hopelessly lost (probably the alcohol), then desperately needing a piss I had to retreat to the train station before boarding the metro back towards the house. Had to transfer at one stop with the annoucement saying I needed to walk one block east - that small alteration also took me about an hour to figure out! Eventually made it back a little slurry and got the piss taken out of me for cooking Shepherds Pie, having had Beans on Toast for breakfast and trying to dispel I wasn't the complete British stereotype! These things are cheap ok!

Went out that night for a few more beers, because who wouldn't! Sarah drove to some bar on the outskirts of town and generally just decent cool bar to hang out in!

In the morning, no hangover :) Though I did have a dream in which my alarm was going off and it was REALLY fucking me off, only to wake up about an hour later realising it was my actual alarm! Had also run out of beans so now had to resort to just cheese on toast - tragedy!

Day 2 was again just more wandering about, generally eating and drinking. Portland has amazing food carts with cuisines round the world. Had probably the best burrito I've ever had, then went with Sarah to Salt and Straw - probably some of the best ice cream I've ever had - they even let you try samples of all the flavours when you're queuing - Think that's the closest to heaven as I'm likely to get :P No triple chocolate penetrations but double chocolate brownie sufficed - not that I have an addiction or anything...

Sorted my plans for the next day - which stobbornly involved me proper wanting to go to waterfall, but having no transport no get there... Again, ludicrous that a major attraction an hour out of town has no bus service running to it, and basically means you need to have a car, or pay $75 to go on a tour... OR NOT

Borrowed a bike to do the trip from Sarah, then went for some pre-ride prep at another bar for cocktails in a massive jar and a buffalo burger (again amazing!)

Day 3 - no beans, no cheese so just toast! Probably a good job considering how much I ate the day before :P Then off on my way. I'd handwritten my directions and all went well until I missed a turn off an accidently ended up in a town called 'Boring' which lived up to its namesake! That added a good 10km on to what turned out to be a 120km round trip and a 3 mile walk once I got there... Luckily I'd topped up my iPod with fresh Karnivool, so that album got listened to about 5 times on the trip then the standard bit of hardcore for when times got tough!

So yeh, the waterfall was of course worth it. I don't waste my time on these things, plus I proper bum out waterfalls anyway! The journey back was a bit painful but yeh, check out the pics ;). Evening was spent limping around with more beer - good times!

My last day in Portland was spent visiting the Saturday market. Talked to some old bible bashing tramp on the bus, but at least he had a beard I could aspire to. Then really randomly, it turns out a Swiss girl I travelled with for 2-3 weeks in Colombia, two years ago happened to fly into Portland the previous day (noticed on Facebook) so met up with her, had some (wait for it...) MORE food and beer, then jumped on my bus to Seattle absolutely smashed :) And that was Portland in a nutshell!
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