Guat, Honduras, Nic - Best of

Trip Start May 04, 2005
1
12
18
Trip End ??? ??, 2005


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Flag of Nicaragua  ,
Sunday, June 5, 2005

Before we leave Nicaragua, we have to give you the lowdown on the best things about these wonderful places.

Guatemala:

5. 2nd loudest thunder in Central America.

4.Skinny animals-Fat people? Which way around is the food chain again? It´s a conundrum!

3.Best of Pimp My Chicken Bus in Guat is 1. the Jesus religious kitsch on the back windows
2. "Patterson Heights Baptist Church" chicken bus
loaded with people who were so NOT on their way
to an evangelical church somewhere in Texas
3. Buses with sleazy Latino names. Brilliant!
2. Chickens-Everywhere! On the street, on the road, in houses, on houses, on buses, driving cars. (well we lied about one of those)
How do people know who´s chicken is who´s? Even the national beer is named after chickens, going by the name of, Chicken Beer!

1. "Ahh! Gringa!" - Guatemalan kids have a healthy fear of blonde White women (well probably not all that unfounded really!) as a result of Evil Gringa stories which arose out of a spate of Guatemalan kid abductions by American women back when it was trendy to have a Guat baby(I guess Chihuahuas have since filled that void). Parents still tell kids to stay in bed or else the Gringaaaa will get them etc, and that didnt bode well for Kirsteen (who was a blonde white woman tourist)

Nicaragua:

4. Loudest Thunder in Central America!

3. Everywhere you look people are lugging around basins full of dinner. This may seem quaint at first but it gets painful on a crowded chicken bus with a dose of Traveller´s Diarhhea(our old friend, bless!) Every long journey(i.e. over twenty minutes necessitates a basin and NOT a lunchbox. Popular choices include Gallo Pinto-otherwise known as rice and beans, Gallo Pinto, Chicken of course and Gallo Pinto.) Mc Donalds anyday my friends!

2. T-Shirts and baseball caps. As soon as we crossed the border we noticed the Nica passion for baseball caps and bad second-hand t-shirts which people cruelly donated without translating. Some winning formulas included:
->"If you can read this, it´s St. Patrick´s Day" (I mean, what? Do they give free optical care one day a year in honour of Saint Patrick, wait, they dont even have St Patricks Day)

-> We saw a (really) old woman sporting "New Hampshire Gymnastics Championships 1998 State Meet Levels 8,9 and 10"
Maybe Patterson Heights is near New Hampshire

-> A kid in a Winnie The Pooh T-Shirt which I (Emma) was kind of jealous of, until i saw what it said under the picture "Jesus es mi mejor amigo-Jesus is my best friend"...Hmm so who´s Pooh´s friend then?

1. Pimp My Chicken Bus Nicaragua Hall of Fame winner is bus we passed on the way to Granada with flames painted on the bonnet and ten guys hanging out the back door. Priceless.

Honduras:

5. A lot of lightning, without thunder, strange to see but better than a rainy one!

4. Marginaly better fed animals.

3. Fast food chains, everywhere.

2. "Tun On" Chinese Restaurant

1. It´s a draw between Cowboy hats, cowboy boots and "I love Jesus key-chains"
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