Kuala Lumpur White Trash
Trip Start Feb 02, 2009
47Trip End Dec 24, 2009
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As you all should know I pride myself, above all else, on quality. Well perhaps pride is too strong a word but certainly quality is amongst the list of properties I hope is included in my writings... my column if you will..., editorial, pronunciations, documents, publication... I'm just trying to not use the B word. For it is not a word that I like. It cheapens both what I do and, as a result, what you are doing whilst reading it. Anyway, I digress, where was I? ... quality... it is normally quite significant but as I'm about to visit four countries in a little over a week things must change. Travelpod only shows you as having visited a country if you have submitted a – as much as I hate to say it – blog from there
When last you left me I was living like Howard Hughes without the money in a hotel in Krabi. I hardly ever went out except to eat a luxurious morning breakfast with the largest fruit plate known to man. I rather took to Krabi as it's cheap, friendly and really easy to get around without getting lost. Also the cricket was on and England were doing rather well. Its been four years since England were doing rather well so I was excited by this development. Krabi is normally the kind of place you use as a stepping stone to more interesting places so no one stays for longer than a day or two at the most. As I ended up staying for five days I felt rather like the Major in Fawlty Towers. All the staff new me and I felt very much like a valued resident. When they did inquire as to how much longer I was staying – obviously not because they were bored of my continued presence – I had to answer – quite honestly – that it all depended on how England were getting on and more specifically on how well Freddy Flintoff's knee kept up. This confused them a great deal but the truth will often be a bitter pill to swallow. Or something like that. You can already tell I'm dragging this out a little can't you?
When I finally got off my bottom to go to Kuala Lumpur I decided that I'd have nothing but the best
Kuala Lumpur really is very nice
You may well have seen this trick on bad magic shows
"Why do you need this back? I haven't even looked at what it says yet."
“I need to press it against my forehead to complete some dubious spiritual connection.”
“But your just going to swap it with the piece of paper I just watched you write my answers down on!”
“You should have more faith.” (said whilst fumblingly swapping the two pieces of paper.)
Needless to say I told him I wasn't that amazed when his 'predictions' came true and that he wasn't going to get a free lunch
After my exciting exchange I headed to the KL Tower – the fourth highest telecommunications tower in the world at 421 meters fact fans! - and it really is impressive. You get to go up to a viewing platform that is actually higher than the one at the Petronas Towers even though the Petronas are higher overall. It wasn't until the next day that I got to go up that one though (the fifth largest building in the world at 452 metres tall in case you were wondering.) You need to queue up for tickets to the Petronas Towers viewing bridge and they stop handing these out at around eleven in the morning so I'd missed the boat on my first day. I had a restless night that first night as my hostel room was directly above a dance club and they didn't stop their pumping bets until six in the morning. Needless to say I had a little difficulty waking up. Once I did I ran to the towers only to be told that they had run out of tickets. This was not good. I was flying to Manila the next day so it was now or never! Using all my not inconsiderable charm I tried to impress upon the lady behind the counter the urgency of my situation. The charm and the urgent plea fell on deaf ears. If charm can indeed fall anywhere. Fortunately for yours truly luck was on my side. A family from Perth, Australia, had been given an extra ticket by accident and were happy to let me have it
On my way out I passed the designated smoking area for the towers. Now, ten thousand people work for the gas and oil company in the towers and of them I'd say... eight thousand five hundred of them are outside having a fag break at any one time. It was like a street protest or one of those home-made videos from Iran after the elections. The air was thick with smoke like a forest fire. The cigarette industry need fear for nothing. Malaysia has your back! Bearing in mind how long it would take to get down to the smoking area with the sheer size of the place you could probably take up half your eight hour working day tabbing it up. No wonder the crowds were so large outside. It really pays to smoke there. And it paid for me to visit the coffin nail chuffers as one of them was wearing a rather dashing hat and I nabbed it for my collection. Bosh!
And that pretty much wraps up my very short time in Malaysia
Next time; I visit my Father in deepest, darkest Philippines. It promises to be a sight-seeing, well-eating, comfy-sleeping roller coaster of a ride! Until then,
Lots of Love,