Like a gypsy ...

Trip Start Jan 01, 2011
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Trip End Jul 04, 2011


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Flag of United States  , California
Thursday, March 24, 2011


From the book " A year in the World, by Frances Mayes."
"The need to travel is a mysterious force. A desire to go runs through me equally with a intense desire to stay at home. An equal and opposite thermodynamic principle. When I travel, I think of home and what it means. At home I'm dreaming of catching trains at night in the gray light of Old Europe, or pushing open shutters to see France awaken. The balance just slightly tips in the direction of the airport."
Yesterday, I bought my ticket to Europe. One way only,  because of my inability of planning anything on a long term base. Since the ticket to come back will be for 6 months from now, I will deal with it later. I thought that the day I bought this ticket would be a big day for me and that I would have strong feeling about it. I thought that it would give me a certainty about this trip happening. Nothing really changed inside of me. No feelings responded to the purchase. I think is because the idea of spending time in Europe comes from deep inside of me and it was just bound to happen. I never had a choice.  It's almost like I can remember being there before and I long to go back. Maybe in another life ... Sometimes I'm sure I was a gypsy in a life before this one and that's why I can't stay put in a place for long. 
Buying the ticket made me also realize that I DO want a place to call home. I want a place to come back to and have someone waiting for me. People that will miss me while I'm gone. How many times have I boxed all my stuff to move around? Many, too many, believe me. Every time I say I can't do it again. I tell myself that this time I need to stay for a while. Well, the definition of "while" is never clear and somehow, my life doesn't work that way. So here we go ... In 3 months I will Box everything up and put it in a storage. Again.
 
About this idea of coming back home...I haven't found "home" yet. It is not Brazil where my family live. It is not in San Jose. That is for sure. They say " Home is where your heart is," So I guess my heart is searching... 
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