Caribbean madness

Trip Start Apr 10, 2005
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Trip End Jul 09, 2005


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Flag of Guatemala  ,
Friday, June 3, 2005

im back muchachos...to update you on my epic oddessy through the ages...so come and read these hallowed pages...tho they may provoke rages...theyre not suitable for all ages...ill do as the orientals do, and begin at the end...by which i mean the last few days. if i were to categorise them, as i often do, they would not fit into the category random...nor would they fit into very random...nay...a new category would have to be invented: the very peak of randomness, the mecca of vagrancy, the desultory emperor of emperors...tuesday morning i got myself onto a chicken bus headed five hours north to puerto barrios, on that caribbean coast i love. got there seven hours later, after dusk, and all the lights were out, so a 'da tij negr' built like a rhino, but called Melvin, told me his cousin from north carolina was coming and i could come with him on a boat to Livingston, where i wanted to go...and it was only reachable by boat. True to his word, a surreal speedboat journey in pitch black followed. After ten minutes in the garifuna town - thats what the breres negros are called there - i had myself a quarter of 'sticky-sticky' and a hammock to sleep in, courtesy of another massive guy called Francis, who had a bit of a lazy eye...or an easy yibe...but after the mayans everyone looks pretty huge... Later that night i found myself in a bar called ubafu place with the lights out again, having a song on bongos sung about me by a rasta named Kyoto bcos he thought i was a writer. i managed to escape to the hostel of two french guys to blaze with them for a while and recieved an honourary dreadlock...after a few hours there i ventured into the darkness to find my hammock, and encountered Alexander the Great, another garifuna sporting nothing but laceless timberlands and jeans with a rope for a belt. Proclaiming himself a 'sensory nigger' but 'tirsty mun', he somehow managed to convince me to buy him a beer, which turned into rice and beans and a beer pretty soon...so i found myself sitting on a wall with his boots as a deposit while he limped off to get our beers. The next day I met another guy called jake...who offered to take me to seite altaras - some waterfalls 'ust a sticky down the beach, mun' that i was also told about by the french guys, in exchange for smoking with him...we ended up walking for two hours, which i later discovered to be 5km from livingston...
The last two weeks before that, on the other hand, were not under such an exciting category. I lived with a family in the city, in the heart of the ghetto it seems, since the shuttle refused to drop me off there, too dangerous. A guy called Mal from kent was living with me, who looked a bit like napoleon dynamite and talked just like Keith from the Office. He didnt seem to see the point in anything, and found everything a waste of money, as he was always saying, so i left him to that. Apart from getting scratched up by the ocelots in their cage, making some blood trails for the lions and tigers (not my own blood), and cleaning up several tonnes of hippo schisse, there was nothing too exhilirating. Arbitrarily spotted the White Stripes were playing in guatemala city the first week we were there and headed down to see them with some other volunteers, which was awesome since we got tickets in the front right by the stage, while the locals were all at the back. Hurray for social segregartion! On the weekend got out of the pollution and noise and three-change hanging-off-the-side bus rides to work, to go back to Antigua with them, encountered nick and robbie and co still cotching there, and stayed in the house of a pretty psycho guy called Victor from alabama, who didnt like guatemalans very much, who was a friend of a friend of a friend, or something. He took us to the beach the next day though, black and huge waves, on the pacific...which we werent supposed to do because there was a hurricane around...
right then, thats pretty much it...in the north now and about to go to tikal in the jungle at 5 tomorrow while all the animals are about...then back across the whole country to antigua before flying to that rica costa, that costa rica, on sunday...
new photos are up, by the way...millions of them...found a decent computer and left it for an hour to do them.
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