Lesson #4037 (at least)

Trip Start Jun 06, 2011
1
38
111
Trip End Jun 05, 2012


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Where I stayed
Russell and Beverly's

Flag of United States  , Texas
Tuesday, August 2, 2011

I'm having a revelation about surrender and I’m having trouble processing it all. I’m actually thinking about the Israelites wandering for 40 whole years! The way I imagine them sojourning through the desert would be periods of rest where they camp for awhile and then periods of travel. I imagine that while they were camping, they didn’t worry about their next destination. They were just living. Then, when God told them to move, they moved. I don’t even think they knew where they were going, they just went. That’s what I think at least. So, how does that apply to me? Well, I feel like I’m currently living the same way – a wanderer in the desert. (Seriously, it’s been really hot everywhere we’ve been)

What I’m trying to say is that we are trying not to make our own plans. We want God to lead. But, when God leads we don’t get to make plans and I really like making plans. Knowing where to go and when, is a big part of my life. It makes me feel like I have a purpose, like I’m in control, which is exactly the problem. I need to surrender and be able to let God lead. When God says go, I should go. When God lets me know where, then I know where. If I could actually surrender into that kind of living, my stress and worry would be gone.

I started thinking about all of this because we haven’t had any specific plans since we left. We stayed at CYB in Arkansas until we felt God leading us to leave. We went to Erin’s parent’s house until we felt God leading us to leave. Now, we are in the DFW metroplex and will go to my dad’s house next. Going to my dad’s has been the only planned event and there is a schedule because we will be celebrating my aunt and uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary. As soon as we got a scheduled time to be somewhere, everything changed. I started feeling anxious because we still had people to see and things to finish on the trailer. I didn’t think we would have enough time to finish everything. I’m excited to see my family and I don’t want it to change my time here. I tend to think about what’s coming next and stop completely enjoying the present. I’m learning all of this because we actually made a plan. Crazy, huh?

Lord, help me to surrender and trust you to lead our directions and the timing. I want this to continue in my life even after this journey.

Until next time,

S
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Comments

Jenny on

Peace! :-) Have a wonderful time in the journey.

Kim on

Preach it, girl! I understand and feel you. Just keep walking. :-)

Meg on

I'm sorry that it's tough right now. Life is crazy as it never lets us expect anything, since it is constantly providing the unexpected. I will still keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
Peace & Love!

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