Trip Start Sep 20, 2007
150Trip End May 16, 2008
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Last night I watched this TV show called Medium. It's been on TV for a couple of years but this was the first time I watched it. The premise of the show is that the principal character can see the past, present and future in her dreams and visions.
Since I needed a title to my entry this tie-in seemed to fit. There's also a link to different ways of thinking.
I mentioned I would go back and talk about what happened when I had my stopover in Calgary
The week after Easter was Alexis' spring break. One day I took her and a friend skiing at Lake Louise. I had to try out my new skis, though Nick had already used them. I was apprehensive about actually going skiing as I was still quite tired all the time. On the first run up the chairlift Alexis dropped a pole. I ended up walking up the hill on one of the steepest inclines to retrieve it. It wasn't a good way to conserve energy for a guy with fibromyalgia. After a few runs we stopped at a chalet to rest and we sat next to someone I recognized, but wasn't sure from where
The third Sunday back I went to WKC for church. The pastor was Chris. As he joined the Church after I left on my Journey I had only heard him speak the previous, Easter, Sunday. A few entries back I talked about Jeremy being an amazing public speaker. Chris is just as good, but in his own way. His sermon was just what I needed. That day I decided to continue my Journey. I, more or less, instantly felt a lifting of the heavy weight that had been dragging me down the prior two weeks after I made that decision. The sub-conscious fight between the ego and the soul subsided as the right decision was now made. I also seemed to know what I had to do.
That day I decided to leave in one week, on Monday. Then Alexis mentioned that her dance class was doing a presentation on that week's Wednesday. So I then decided to leave on the Thursday. I then sent an email to the long term disability insurance claims manager to find out the status of my claim after I declined to return to work last fall as they indicated I should for them to pay me benefits. I also sent an email to my Manager to indicate I would like to come in and discuss a "potential" return to work
I didn't hear back from the insurance company manager until the following Monday where she indicated that they had closed my file as I hadn't returned to work as they had specified. My Manager had been away the previous week and on Monday replied to say we could meet either Tuesday or Thursday. I replied that Tuesday would work. I woke up numerous times during that night and was getting extremely anxious about the meeting. I felt that I had to have this meeting but I still had no idea behind the purpose of it. Finally morning came and as I lay in bed getting extremely anxious I felt that I know knew the purpose of the meeting. A calm engulfed me
I went to that meeting with this weird sense of elation and met my Manager, the other department Manager, as well as my direct report case manager. I explained about my Journey and that I was leaving in a few days to visit my sister, that I might be coming back to work, that the time wasn't right to say that I would for sure, I told them about my writing and photography, that I was basically putting all the information "out there". My "direct report" manager indicated that I didn't sound like an accountant. The general consensus seemed to be that my "new way of thinking" wouldn't fit within the constraints of a "bureaucratic" office job. I left it with them that I would contact my department Manager in a month or so to advise them whether I was planning on returning and that they had to decide if they wanted me back. I was completely honest in my assessment of my physical limitations at the current time. After two and a half years of battling my condition, I was still, based on how I felt during the three weeks since I had returned home, not ready to return. So how was it that I might be able to return in a month or two?
The next morning I went to see my psychologist, Carol. I hadn't seen her in over 2 years, since the time I went back to work the first time after my accident. She had no idea that I had had relapses and was now off work. She asked why I had come to talk to her. I said I didn't know. I still hadn't figured it out. I could update her on what had happened since we had last met. And so that is what I did. And then something came out which, I believe, explains the purpose of my having to come and see her. My allocated time passed and we continued chatting. Twenty minutes later Carol checked the waiting room and the client after me still hadn't arrived
My physician's appointment was to get prescriptions for the massage and psychologist for insurance purposes and a letter for my employer stating there should be no reason I cannot return to work. I had found out during my Journey that my condition is not work related. I had symptoms and relapses even after I had been on my Journey for a while.
I've already noted what happened the following days after leaving Calgary.
I've been working on my website and on the book version of my blog. The website is going slow as I've been delaying in writing the stuff I should be writing on certain pages. I've copied all my blog entries into a word document and am slowly formatting the entries as Chapters and a more readable, hopefully, layout. It looks like the actual book will be over 350 pages and I will be self publishing it through lulu.com.
As previously noted I've been getting out on my bike
The day before this bike ride I had gone to an Arthritis Society information session on fibromyalgia. The guest speaker was Dr. Teresa Clarke. She's written a manual that she calls a 12 week fibromyalgia recovery program. She does workshops on the program in her home town of Langley, BC. I chatted with numerous people who have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and even some who have all the symptoms but have physicians who do not believe in this diagnosis and say its "all in their head". I found the information session quite interesting. I did learn some new stuff in Eastern health treatments that can assist the Western health system techniques. I had driven to this session early, had lunch in downtown Nanaimo and walked around to check things out. During this walk I had crossed the "town square" where they had something happening during the lunch hour. I had noticed at that time two female RCMP Officers getting on their bikes. Were they the same two I met the following day?
Yesterday, Murielle gave me a tour of part of the Island north of Nanaimo. Because of that you have some pictures to look at
The next stop on the tour was Cathedral Grove. There we found a stand of Douglas fir trees that are over 800 years old and the largest of these is 76 metres tall and 3 metres wide. The final stop was the Englishman River waterfalls.
I'm no Medium, nor Psychic and so I have no idea what the future has in store for me. I have been reading Wayne Dyer's, "Change your Thoughts-Change Your Life". In the book he expands on the 81 verses of the Tao Te Ching. I've read the first 30 verses. I am slowly trying to put into practice something that was written 2500 years ago and has been interpreted, lived, expanded on, re-written, talked about, fought about, argued about, and ignored
Finally, what does Small...Medium and Large have to do with different ways of thinking? We might automatically assume that one is better than the other. Large is better than small because you have more. Or small is better than large if it's something you don't want. Maybe medium is better than either small or large. When we think of ways of thinking and say someone is small, or narrow, minded we usually think in negative terms. We could call a visionary someone who is "large" minded as they have "grand" ideas. One of the definition of "Medium" is psychic. They are all different ways of "thinking". Neither one I think is good or bad. They are all just...different!
Now why did I have to meet with my bosses and my psychologist? I've written on numerous occasions about going backwards
We can all get away with not listening to our heart, or soul, for a long time without any apparent damage to our physical well being but I believe at some point in time the soul will say enough. That's what happened to me.
Think It! Feel It! Live It!