The Missing Link!
Trip Start Sep 20, 2007
150Trip End May 16, 2008
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Day 4 of being back in Calgary is almost over and I haven't done much. My mind is still trying to fathom what I experienced. I am constantly exhausted. I am no closer to having my website up then I was last January, the last time I looked at it
Yesterday, worse nightmare-Part III occurred. It's been nice out the past 2 days and so the snow from Saturday night is all gone. I found an RV wash that was not too far and spent over an hour (and $20) washing the salt and grime from the trailer. Then I had to park it in the space between my garage and the property line. My garage is in a back lane that isn't that wide as there is a fence on the opposite side. Everything was going great as there were no cars parked in the lane as there usually is. I start backing up and the trailer seems to be lined up just right. That is, from what I can remember from parking it there last August. Then, Worse Nightmare-Part III happened. I was so sure I was lined up properly that I didn't stop and go see behind the trailer as to where it was. I'm making sure the front corner of the trailer doesn't hit the truck (from turning too sharp) when I can't back up anymore. I've hit the overhang on the garage and the eavestroughing has pierced the back of the trailer. I now have a 5 inch hole in the upper right corner of the rear of the trailer.
I wasn't upset at all, like I would have been before from my stupidity. Since I believe that my positive thoughts will happen then the negative thoughts will also happen
That fiasco over and done with I was too tired to go wash my truck. I rested a while. Had supper. Then went to visit Nick's old Air Cadet Squadron where I volunteered for 5 years. My friends are there. I walk in and the admin clerk sees me and comes and gives me a great big hug in front of about 100 cadets. Her son is in the military and is currently posted in Kabul. He had been there less than a month when the vehicle he was in was run over. Bumps and bruises but no serious injuries. The vehicle was a write-off. We chat a while.
I meet up with a couple of the current parent executive and Roger, the vice-chair, looks me up and down and says, "Looks like Paul". He had read my last blog where I said that maybe the person writing all this isn't Paul. Later on, Rick, the Chairman says I look much more relaxed. I'm not too sure if relaxed was the right word, maybe my exhaustion comes out looking relaxed. I need a hair cut as I haven't had one since I left Orlando and I hadn't shaved in 3 days
I spent the evening chatting with various Officers and Civilian Instructors. As the evening is about to wrap up, John, the Commanding Officer has finally had all his meetings, and cleared up most of what he had to do so we now have time to chat. He hasn't read my blog since January because he's been quite busy with work, cadets, and baby George. Andrea, his wife and my Angel, has been reading it faithfully, as I have previously alluded to in my entries. The other Officers leave and we continue chatting about my Journey. Last year I had lent him one of my copies of the Secret because he believes in this same stuff and has been on his own Journey, though not to the same extent as I did in the past 6 months.
It was getting late, and he had received a few phone calls that he had ignored so we said we would chat more later. Today I found out it was Andrea calling as she was getting frustrated with baby George who had been fussing a lot. I met Andrea and baby George for lunch today. Andrea wants to hire me as George's nanny. I do have a way with babies. But George is an awesome baby. Andrea and I had lunch and chatted for 2 hours and George didn't cry once. Andrea and John are moving to Beaumont Alberta as soon as they find a new commanding officer for the cadet Squadron
I don't know if there's a baby boom in Calgary these days, but there were babies everywhere, in the restaurant and later I noticed a lot of them in the mall as I walked about. What outrageous story can I make with these signs? Maybe I should hire myself out as a nanny?
I haven't been, consciously, spending my time mulling over what I must do now, but I am sure my unconscious mind is battling it out as if it was WWIII. What I believe I must do is as follow. My blog is book 1. It will stay where it is, accessible to everyone to read but I must also have it in book format. So that shouldn't be too difficult to do. Part II of what I must do is write an "Interpretation" book. That is what I did in my job (old one) that I liked the most. My blog is like tax law. It is incomprehensive to most people. I must write an interpretation manual so that most people can understand it.
I once took a statutory interpretation course where they taught us how to read law. One of the basic premises is to try and understand what was the intent of the lawmakers in what they wrote
The final book I must put together is a coffee table style photo album of inspiring photos. I experienced some amazing sunrises, sunsets, and natural settings that I must share in a larger format then the small version that's posted on the blog. Once that is done, I must put together a script to make my Journey into a movie. The movie will be a play by play, step-by-step, description of what happens when you put into motion a dream, a prayer, a vision, or an idea. Nothing I have asked for has been provided, yet. So, how can I be so sure that any of this is right? That, I believe, is part of the grand plan.
That is what I know I must do. Do my fears overtake the faith I have in all this being possible and stop here after all I've been through? I still don't know. I must have faith that the pieces will fall into place when the time is right. Being exhausted all the time is part of the process. How can I worry and be fearful of the unknown when I feel the way I do? I really have no care in the world at this time, with the exception of my kids, because I am just so tired
I do want to try and explain at this time the purpose in my writing the outrageous story about me and Hannah. You have to trust me when I say that what was written there was "divinely" put into my head. The signs were there so that I would write that stuff. Why? Because I have a story to be told that is somewhat unbelievable because I still cannot prove that this stuff actually works. It's still all theory, to all of you. I've written how I've gotten rid of numerous "Demons" or fears, that I had. I do have an anxiety disorder. I have a psychologist who has documented it. I do know that now, my anxieties are greatly reduced.
Writing that outrageous story and actually asking Hannah to marry me served the purpose of making me realize that I should write what I am thinking. People wanted me to write what I was experiencing. So writing about half (or completely) naked women was also required even though those are things I wouldn't have usually commented on. I've always thought them, but never verbalized them. No matter how outrageous my theories are, I must put them out for others to ponder them. Leonardo da Vinci documented numerous visions that he had that were considered outrageous in his time. My "Demons" would have held me back in writing what I believe in
All great achievements have begun with a thought....an idea...a dream!
So the purpose of writing outrageous stuff was so that I would stop being afraid of what people think. I had to learn to say what I think. I've always been afraid of offending this person or that person that I never voiced my own thoughts. What? Is! wanted me to get over that fear. I also had to write stuff the way I did because we live in a world where people want to be entertained. I stopped reading "Origin of Species, by Charles Darwin" because it was like reading a dictionary. A dictionary has a lot of interesting words in it. But I would never read it from start to finish.
I've started re-reading my whole blog. Maybe there's something I forgot that I wrote that will tie all this together. Or not! Only time will tell.
Think It! Feel It! Live It!