The Back-Up Plan!
Trip Start Jul 22, 2009
163Trip End Ongoing
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Where I stayed
Mom & Dad's
The plan was that once I came back to Canada from California I had a decision to make. I sold the house in December and headed down to California to make all my dreams come true. Well...none of them came true in California. No movie deal. No dream girl. No book deal. NOTHING!
The "Back-Up Plan" back in December was that if the money didn't start coming in by the time I returned to Canada that I would consider my 3 year experiment a failure. I've written other entries since then discussing that potential "failure".
And so, here I am, in Winnipeg, and still no money coming in. I am a lot closer to bankruptcy. I could go find a McJob and eek out a living and pay off the debt that I have. I probably could go re-join the rat race in some corporate or government job. But I won't.
There is no back-up plan at this time. I'm going for broke.
"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot
The real reason I went to California wasn't to make my Dreams come true but to allow me to learn and grow and experience the lessons that I needed to continue my Journey. I've learned that there is no such thing as failure. Buzz words. Theories. Quotes. Words we read all the time expounding this don't mean anything until we arrive at some point in our lives where we truly do believe it.
Over the past 3 years I've repeated on numerous occasions various theories and beliefs about being at the right place at the right time, attracting the right people or events into our lives, everything happening for a reason, etc, etc. I might have sounded so confident in writing those things as if I truly believed in them.
I was lying. As much as I tried to truly believe in all these theories and "laws", I still had these underlying doubts. I was lying to make others believe. If I wavered it would be like I was letting others down.
The Journey to California was for me to finally get rid of those doubts. I can't explain at which moment it actually happened. I can't explain how or why I now feel that way. I just do. Could I ever show or teach others to arrive at this same place? I doubt it. I don't think it works that way. I believe we all need to arrive at this place on our own. Our "Angels" will make sure that it does happen.
Though, I do believe that there is certain information that can be provided to the masses to assist them in reaching this nirvana. "Short-cuts" to arriving at this place have been provided in the past, but maybe there's a 3rd millennium version waiting to be written or made into a movie.
Only time will tell.
In the meantime I'll continue traveling, meeting people, writing about and photographing "life". There must be a reason that that's my purpose. What? Is! Inc exists for a reason. My Mini Cooper and car hauler advertising "Think It! Feel It! Live It!" are there for some "grand" purpose. There must be a reason that people smile, point for others to look and that little kids stop in the middle of an intersection to gape at the car as I pass by.
There must be some "grand" reason that I haven't made any money yet or that I've had to experience what I've gone through. Who am I to question the "logic" behind the coincidences or lack of them that occur in my life.
Yes, two years ago I wrote that I had found the answer to that age old question, "What is the Meaning of Life?" (READ THE BOOK!) I did experience it at that moment and have had short periods of truly experiencing it since. But I've also lied at other times that I still felt it. The lying about it is what allows you to continue.
For now, I truly do feel it all the time...Peace...Nirvana.
Think It! Feel It! Live It!