Road Trip-Days 3 & 4

Trip Start Jul 22, 2009
1
84
163
Trip End Ongoing


Loading Map
Map your own trip!
Map Options
Show trip route
Hide lines
shadow

Flag of United States  , California
Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I QUIT!

My life SUCKS!

Yesterday I rode over 225 kilometers in the rain, fog, and wind along undulating scenic roadway. I didn't have much of a scenic ride as I couldn't see anything through the rain covered helmet visor and the fog that often didn't let me see the car in front. Then there were the long waits due to construction.

But that not why my life sucks!

I stopped at a Starbucks in Monterey. Chatted with Melissa, who was having a smoke outside (I was dripping wet and wasn't going to sit inside) about my travels, and to a couple of homeless (it looked like) guys who were sitting outside having a smoke (they were on bicycles with all their worldly possessions) who had made comments about my motorcycle when I had arrived.

I arrived at the KOA Campground after fighting to stay ON the highway due to the strong wind gusts that were trying to send me off into the ditch. After some trial and error I've managed to set up my shocks so that the suspension works well at high speeds. The rain held off the last half hour of my ride. I'm still soaked from head to toes. My boots must have had an inch of water in them. I'm cold and shivering.

But that's not why my life sucks!

I decide against setting up my tent, and get a Kamping Kabin. Put my stuff in the Kabin and take a walk to the showers. Haven't had one in 3 days. Showers open up to the outdoors. No heat in there. Going to be hard to warm up in there. Decide to take a walk around the campground. They rent these Airstream campers. Now that's a plan. A little more...OK...a lot more expensive, but I'm getting too old to shiver all night in a tent or log cabin with only a space heater. Besides, there's no way my riding gear and clothes would dry out in the Kamping Kabin with only a space heater. Rain was also predicted for today. Luxury accommodations is the choice for this stop.

Go back to the office and make the changes. Pay the luxury upgrade charge. Seems high...oh well. Crank up the heat in the Airstream. Unpack all my stuff. Hang everything to dry. Take a long, hot shower. I'm exhausted. Off to bed.

Get up this morning after the rain stopped. It's after 9 am. Blue sky and sun. Put my tent out to dry. Forecast is for intermittent showers. Do I chance getting caught in the rain in Monterey? It's a half hour away. Decide against that. Clouds in the distance look menacing. With the tent dry I decide to take a ride to Seascape Village, about 5 miles away, for lunch and maybe some photo ops. The rain starts falling just as I arrive in town and the clouds look real menacing further north in that direction. I head back to the campground. Make a pit stop at the nearby beach for a couple of photos of Monterey Bay.

Spend the afternoon in the camper. Blue sky and sun most of the day with only a few drops falling. Where did all the menacing clouds go? Can't see very far north due to the trees. Went back to the office to check on the rental charge that seemed high. Yes, they made a mistake. They refunded $80.

I was exhausted. I had no energy. Brain fog. Replied to a few emails but couldn't type as my fingers weren't "working". My eyes are not focusing. I'm having a hard time reading what's on the computer, with and without my bi-focal glasses. Feels like I haven't slept in months. I sleep, but my body doesn't seem to get any rest. But I felt so great in Palm Springs and had all that energy to exercise two months ago.

Now THAT's why my life SUCKS!

I can put up with the crappy weather and not seeing the sights that I planned on seeing. That's all part of traveling. I know I can't see all that I want and some days the weather won't cooperate. It's the being tired all the time that I can't take anymore. It's the feeling good for a few months then the unexplained crap periods.

Exactly 3 years ago I stopped working due to my fibromyalgia. I had no energy left. I feel like I'm back at that time and place. All I feel like doing is sleep and lie in bed. But I can't. I have to get back to somewhere where I can do that. My own place. But I don't have my own place. I can't afford my own place. I don't have the energy to work. What do I do?

Well? Today! I spent the day planning a 4 month, 20,000 kilometer eastern European motorcycle expedition through 30 countries. Leaving Paris, to Austria, Hungary, Finland, Moscow, Romania, Turkey, Croatia, Greece, Portugal, back to Paris, with stops in a bunch of other countries in between.

But I'm so exhausted I can barely finish the road trip that I'm on.

So I've made up my mind. I get back to L.A. next week after the next three days in San Francisco (in a pre-booked hotel). Do my off-road BMW course one week later. For which I haven't the faintest idea why. Come back from that and pack up my things and head back to Canada.

I QUIT!

I believe in and have faith in all that I'm doing but I just don't have the energy to continue. Being tired all the time is just too emotionally draining. If I'm doing what I'm suppose to be doing in life then I should have the energy to be able to do that. I don't. That must mean I'm doing the wrong thing.

I QUIT!

A 4 month, 20,000 kilometer, 30 country, motorcycle expedition is just a "pipe dream".

I QUIT! ...because I don't have the energy to continue. Without a major shift in energy levels there's not much else I can do. I don't want to because I want to see how this story ends. I truly believe that Dreams do come true. I believe that fairy tale endings are possible.

Sorry...but I quit.    :-(

Slideshow Report as Spam

Comments

Monique on

Have you ever looked at the link between the times that you feel bad/feel great and the weather patterns where you are? Is it a coincidence that you feel bad when riding on a wet, cold highway, but great when you are in the warm sunny desert? Look at your blogs from your last trip to the US -- you felt bad when you were in cool humid areas, felt better when it was warm.

None of my business, but if you are quitting and "going somewhere", shouldn't the somewhere be warm and sunny?

Have you also considered giving your body a break? or (gasp) seeing a doctor to understand what new information they might have about FM? Maybe someone in California where they have top-notch research facilities? Maybe that is why you are in Calif?

Or maybe you just need to quit for now, take a break, gather some energy for the next adventure?

(by the way, your travel blog doesn't like "bad" words like "cr*p"!)

cobra1899
cobra1899 on

I track everything. The only pattern I see is that stuff happens to make me do what I'm suppose to be doing. The problem is knowing what that is. Change happens when the lesson is learned or what needs to get done...gets done. BTW. You can write krap in the entry but not in the comment section.

cobra1899
cobra1899 on

Since you're recommending some R & R, Doctor M, you offering me a place to do that? lol

Elaine on

There's an empty apartment in Calgary ... until at least June 10th ...

Add Comment

Use this image in your site

Copy and paste this html: