My Journey: A review...Part III.
Trip Start Jul 22, 2009
163Trip End Ongoing
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My Dream Girl!
Do I need to go to Australia to find her? Is she here in California? What if she doesn't exist? What if I need to finish my life journey alone?
All the spiritual teachings, that I've read, talk about enlightenment from the perspective that it is a solo journey. If my goal is finding the path to happiness and Christian, Buddhist, Taoist, and Veda teachings all indicate that Priests, Nuns, Monks, Gurus, Bodhisattva must all live celibate lives to fulfill their callings, then is there an incompatibility between my Dreams?
Am I to give up one, and or the other, of my Dreams?
I'm having better luck at finding the answer to happiness then finding a mate. The only thing that is currently holding me back from completely believing in all that I have experienced is the finding true love part. I can't even find someone between 30 and 50 to hang out with. The only women in this age group that seem to come into my life are married. We have great conversations, but I doubt their husbands would care to let their wives travel with me.
Note: This is where I had stopped writing a month and a half ago.
If you re-read the entry right after Part II of my summary, the final 2 weeks of my time in Palm Springs, you will note how I ended up meeting, having supper and going dancing with Cynthia, a woman from San Diego I had met on a tour. Yes, the Universe does answer ALL your requests. I had written the previous paragraph, but never posted it (it was saved as a draft). I did find someone to hang out with, if only for one night.
And so, to continue the review of my Journey.
Last spring, after having published my book, I get an email asking if I'd like to be interviewed on a radio show out of San Francisco. Did that. After that I mailed about 30 copies of my book to Oprah, The New York Times, local papers, TV and radio stations, in Canada and the USA hoping I'd get some interest for another interview or have a book review written.
Nothing...Nada...ZIP! Didn't hear a single thing back from anyone. Didn't even get a "Return to Sender" package. Guess being pro-active in marketing isn't the way to go.
I spent the next month or two doing some bookkeeping, taxes, etc and then got to working on my website and a photo shopping system. That figured out and a couple thousand photos online ready to sell and I left on a trip to the East Coast of Canada and who knows where.
The rest is documented in this blog.
So! What's missing?
Where I'm at!
Since I've returned from Palm Springs I've spent a lot of time in coffee shops, working on my vehicles and have uploaded a bunch more of my photos to my website. I now have all my European Expedition photos available for purchase at http://whatisinc.ca/gallery/index.php
Also. since I've returned from Palm Springs I've been feeling like KRAP! My fibromyalgia symptoms have returned and I don't sleep very well. Which, in turn, means I'm always tired. Therefore, I don't feel like doing anything. Which, most of the time, means that my thoughts are often negative and I really start wondering why and what I'm doing here. Fatigue really screws up our positive mental capacity.
I seem to be busy. I never seem to have enough time to do all that I want to do, and I don't have a 9 to 5 job to go to. And so I understand where everyone else is coming from in trying to make their dreams come true when there never seems to be enough hours in a day. What to do?
I'm still spending money and planning a 4 month expedition to Australia that might never happen. I have $3000 of new parts going onto my motorcycle. I've spent another $2000 on camping gear. I'm leaving in a few days on a 10 day motorcycle camping trip along the California coast to do a test run of gear and equipment. Once I return from that I have another 10 days on a BMW motorcycle off-road training course. All this for something that won't happen unless I get some money coming in within 2 weeks or something so unbelievable happens to prove to me that that is the path that I must follow.
Time is running out. When I get back from my camping trip up the coast to San Francisco I either book a flight to Australia or start packing up and head back to Canada and a 9 to 5 job.
I've been in California for 3 months. I expected something big to happen here. Will it happen in the final 2 weeks, especially when I'll be traveling?
It takes but a moment for something amazing and unexpected to happen. What will that be?
Money? Or meeting the person I've been Dreaming about?