What 20-years will do for a person
Trip Start
Feb 12, 2010
1
8
11
Trip End
Mar 05, 2010
Lahaina, Hawaii
Friday, February 26, 2010
I started high school in '89, and finally met other kids in the neighborhood. We rode the public bus to and from school every day- a one hour journey each way. By the time we landed in Redwood Shores, the majority of the school had gotten off at their stops, and the few of us "Shores Kids" remained. Among those kids were Beth and TJ Frank. I wasn't but a few short weeks in to high school when Beth was granted the title: best friend.
At the time, my mom still spent a lot of time traveling. She would often go to Oktoberfest for a month at a time, right at the beginning of the year. That first year of high school, I stayed with the Franks, as I was still too young to stay home alone. That month was like being part of the Cleavers. It was complete with a charming dad, a beautiful and elegant mom, the successful and smart daughter, and the son. Alright, so the son had some redeemable qualities, but not many. He was in my grade and I'd known him for three years at this point, but he was always TJ Frank. He was popular, all the girls liked him, and he was a brother. The kind of brother that ruthlessly torments his sister... and his sister's friends. That month I learned a lot of what being part of the Cleavers... er, Franks, was like. For starters, be on guard at all times because you never know when TJ and his friends will strike.
Over the next few years, and two more months at the Franks, I finally learned how to navigate the waters under the "part-time sister" heading. I went water skiing and snow skiing with the family, all the while getting more and more comfortable with them. Two spring breaks in a row, Beth flew to Denver with me to ski the Rockies. Those are memories I still think of every time I hear the click of my bindings engaging into my skis.
TJ became more of a nuisance the farther into school we got. We had quite a few classes together, which allowed him even more opportunities to torment me. I finally got numb to his harassment- which I think might have fueled him more. In the last almost-20 years since I've seen any of the Franks, I've often thought of what Beth and TJ might have become in their lives. Beth, I'm sure, would grow up to go in to medicine of sort, marry the rich doctor, and have 2.5 children. TJ, on the other hand, would be the strapping Wall Street tycoon, married to the first girl he met in college, who was going to be a stay-at-home mom, and most likely serve dinner in an apron and heels.
Facebook has given my generation the answer to the question: what ever happened to....? TJ's profile was the most shocking, without a doubt. The Wall Street tycoon was as far away from New York as you could imagine. That popular boy in high school would spend many years searching the world, learning about himself, and finding peace. Peace, I suppose, I never realized he was without.
We landed in Maui in the morning, and as usual, I was the first to run off the ship. I had spoken to TJ earlier in the day, and had emailed back and forth about getting together while I was on the island. I was so curious as to the glimpse of TJ Frank his Facebook page showed, that I had to see it for myself. I had to see if this 180 degree shift of my expectations was real.
After renting a very cool car (c'mon- if you know me, you KNOW I'm not renting a "midsized sedan" for the day), a 2010 Mustang Convertible, GT, I began the hour long drive to TJ's town. He had told me to meet him at a beach. I chatted with a friend the majority of the drive- someone who had gone to school with us as well, and knew TJ. We analyzed what he must be like- what our expectations were, and what we would think if scenario a, b, or c would occur.
I landed on the beach and attempted to find my long-lost pseudo brother. Then, this random person waved at me, signaling me to come over. I was, however, sure that this person was no way TJ. He looked too...... well..... hippie! But then that man walked over to me. With a somewhat familiar smile and very recognizable eyes, there was my old ...friend?
I spent the afternoon with TJ and some of his friends. Later, we went to his house where I could tell old stories about TJ to his lovely wife, Carrie. Her pictures on his page didn't do her justice. Though I'm certain she has never served dinner in an apron and heels, she really did fit the rest of my expectations: beautiful, kind, and perfect in every way. She and TJ met in acupuncture school (Ah ha! See? He DID meet his wife in college... in a sense...) and they now run a clinic in their home. Seeing their home filled with trinkets from their travels, and feeling the calm energy around me, I had an opposite reaction to it all. I think I was so caught up on who this person had become, and how I envied his self realizations, I had a visceral reaction to it. We were drudging up memories, experience, and issues of our pasts, chatting as if we'd known each other for years- and actually got along at any point of it. My arms broke out in hives, and my stomach did flips- I was going to be ill. It was, without a doubt, one of the strangest feelings I've ever had.
TJ offered to give me an acupuncture treatment- something I love getting anyhow. The boy who used to torment me endlessly, calling me ugly at every turn (literally), and once punching me in the arm so badly the pain lasted for weeks, was now STICKING NEEDLES ALL OVER MY BODY! I watched him closely to see if that boyish little brother would peek through. At one point I think I saw a glimmer in his smirk, but he was professional and caring. TJ FRANK WAS PROFESSIONAL AND CARING! That may have blown my mind the most. That moment is when I realized what can happen in 20 years. That's the moment when I stopped to think about what has happened to me in the last 20 years.
TJ and Carrie left for a few minutes, leaving me stuck like a pin cushion on their sofa to rest. I closed my eyes, and breathed in some of that peace, hoping they had some to share. I let go of my feelings for TJ that were created so long ago that were built with a mix of animosity and humor, and decided to look at the person who shared that kid's eyes as a new person of beauty. When TJ walked back in the room, I looked at a 34-year old man whom I had never met, but was excited beyond all belief to get to know. This was someone I wanted to learn from. This was someone I was hoping wanted to teach me.
I left TJ and Carrie's with such a warmth and comfort that I felt like I could breathe for the first time since getting on the ship. I was sad to go, and welled up with a few tears as I followed their car out of their neighborhood. As they turned off and I continued down the road back to the ship, I felt sad. I don't miss that little boy that had me searching under my bed for monsters (also known as him and his friends). I don't miss the angst that brat caused me. But I do, very much so miss TJ and Carrie Frank. I have been truly blessed to have gotten to spend a day with two very incredible people.
