Hilarity in the newspaper

Trip Start Sep 16, 2006

Trip End Mar 13, 2007

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Flag of United Arab Emirates Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Friday, September 22, 2006

So I picked up the Gulf News at the grocery store yesterday. Best thing since Bill Cosby started making those commercials advertising jello jigglers. I normally read the Khaleej Times due to its higher quality journalism, which is still fairly poor in my opinion. The Gulf News isn't horrible, I mean it is better than the Toledo Blade (which, for those of you who are not familiar with this newspaper, is "one of America's Greatest Newspapers"), but that is not saying much. Anyhoo, I provide you with one of the many humerous headlines and blurbs from Thursday, September 21:

Drunken man bites panda in zoo - "A drunken Chinese tourist bit a panda at the Beijing Zoo after the animal attacked him when he jumped into the enclosure and tried to hug it..." "'I bit the fellow in the back,' Zhang was quoted as saying in the newspaper. 'Its skin was quite thick.'"

And get this, the Gult News allows you, the reader to write in with your opinion: "Do you find that people tend to tease wild animals in zoos? Is it because it gives them a sense of power? Or do they just lack sensitivity towards animals? Tell us at letter2editor@gulfnews.com." Yes, quality journalism. I'm going to flip a coin and say....yes, definitely, sense of power. Grown men who are dealing with issues of masculinity and inferiority often times go to the zoo to tease animals in order to regain their sense of power.