Saying Goodbye, Forever?
Trip Start Jan 10, 2012
64Trip End Jun 06, 2012
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I had a quick breakfast and then got a coffee before I got on the bus. I literally kept almost crying at the thought of not ever seeing Piphany and all the other sloths after today. I got in, feeling nervous as hell and saw Claire and Becky. I chatted with them for a bit and went round the back to find Matt as Missy had left her iPad camera reader with him for me. He wasn't there when I got to the kitchen so I helped with some vegetables. Chris said that they were ridiculously busy with only two of them and she was annoyed they hadn't called me back
After I was walking to go and see Judy I saw Primo on the path. He said Judy had sent him to talk to me. He said that Judy told him that there were loads of volunteers coming tomorrow and that they wouldn't have space for me...He said that he loved my work on the project and that he really wanted me to stay but that Judy didn't need me. It's all just a bit confusing to be honest. Marcelo said to me later, when I was helping him change Miss Vickies bandages, that him and Primo both wanted me to stay, Rolo also asked why I was going he said I worked harder than anyone and cared so much. In a perfect world I would love to have stayed and just been Marcelo's assistant and just look after the sloths permanently. But obviously this is not my decision to make. I guess I just have to hope Judy might message me...
So once again I have to let something I love, something I probably love more than I've loved anything, go. I really felt so at home there and honestly wished I could have stayed forever, I loved the work and obviously loved the sloths. I know I'm good with them, I know that I'm good at the veterinary stuff even when I've had no training. And now I know I'll probably never see them again. I went in to say bye to Piphany, I love all of the sloths but I've always adored her
So now I feel horrendous and I'm heading back to Cahuita to leave for San Jose. I made it back to Cahuita and kept listening to non-sad music so I didn't throw myself in front of a bus. I went for lunch at the chocolate place, which was amazing! Then I just chilled till I went to San Jose. I think being further away and not 30 seconds from the sanctuary will help. Especially as I'm going to be to be diving every day. I know this whole thing probably seems ridiculous, I think I sound ridiculous sometimes. But to me it was so much more than an experience, it was somewhere I really felt at home, doing something I imagined I could do for the rest of my life and with something that made me so inexplicably happy. So there you go.
I was so tired when I got to San Jose and it's bloody freezing! Ok it's 20 degrees but honestly it feels so cold. When I got to my usual hostel I saw I had some absolutely lovely messages from some of the girls who I volunteered with which really sweet and didn't necessarily make me feel better about it all but I really appreciated the support. So bed time on a really horrible day. Can I just rewind to August last year please?