The BIG FAT ONE

Trip Start Aug 22, 2006
1
8
23
Trip End May 13, 2007


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Flag of India  ,
Wednesday, September 20, 2006

"There's an old indian proverb which say. If you see an elephant wearing coconuts around its neck. It may not be an effeminet elephant. It may be a roman catholic elephant"!! [Ranji's proverbs]

Right well Hi All. Things certainly aren't what they seem to be. India IS absolutely... CRAZY! I mean NUTS. MAD. We can now appreciate how bad the driving is in England, because they suck so bad here! Well yours truley has been in the thick of it for the last 5 days.

I first landed in Delhi and have got myself my own chauffer, some classy hotels dotted around India, plus site seeing, train travel and excursions in one bundle package. SWEET! These days I'm being hassled in the street left, right and center and there's no place for a Gora (white boy) in India. Its a barmy place indeed.

Also, if I had a rupee for everytime someone has said - "AHH England. GOOD COUNTRY GOOD COUNTRY" I'd be a Maharaja over here.

First things first. I've already kicked off a political storm by accidentally wiping off my red (good luck charm) dot on my head after visiting a local Hindu temple in Dehli. WAS PURELY ACCIDENTAL! However my arm of my shirt now is happily stained with good luck.

On the 21st I dodged death by about 6 inches as a 2kg iron slab smashed through our windscreen on the motorway. LOVELY! And since I've also been doing Bangra dance off's in restaurants and elephant riding?!

Ok, so enjoy people. Hope everyone is fine back home. I'll try to keep this as up to date as possible.

Tanya Wad (thank you).

Jimbo.
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Comments

hannahs
hannahs on

Happy Birthday
How way Jem. Happy Birthday for the 26th. Have lots of fun and eat an enormous curry and trump so loudly we can hear you back home.
Missing you - keep the jokes coming.
Hannah xxx

unc.eam.
unc.eam. on

Happy Birthday
Well Jim it's happy birthday from your Uncle Eamonn and Aunt Betsy.Hows life out in the old colony.I guess you can't use expressions as 'Don't have a cow''holy cow'etc.Nice you got a private driver, I bet everywhere you go your the local attraction with children tugging your clothes .My Indian friend at work Jack says that peolpe may think your from paradise so by touching you they get good luck maybe it works both ways.

bigjim
bigjim on

Tumpton Town
Hi H!

Glad to hear from you and thanks for the birthday wishes. Yes, I've put a new place on the map here in India called Trumpton Town in Rajasthan. Yep I tried to write back to some pals earlier but got caught short in the web cafe.

Its the first time I've barked at my driver to 'STEP ON IT!! FLY LIKE THE ERM, [parp] WIND'! Straight back to the hotel for some arse relief. Phew. Close call. Missing you all

mumsie2
mumsie2 on

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMESIE!!!
Hi Jamesie!

Hope you have a super day today! Treat yourself to a camel-ride or two!! We all miss you back home, but just keep the jokes coming! Tons of love from us all, Mum, Dad & Ossie XXXXX

mooreeyebrow
mooreeyebrow on

Happy Birthday
Alright Smyth,

Happy birthday mate. Hope everythings well, and you're steering well clear of the malaria infested food/water/toilets/people etc.

The last thing you need is to get real deli belly, or a bout of typhoon buttocks.

Anyway take it easy mate, and have a good one.

thebaron81
thebaron81 on

Sorry mate
did not know it was your Birthday!!

Keep up the blogging!

Will write more over the weekend when I get a bit of time!

Tom

PS. I'm green with envy!

thebaron81
thebaron81 on

I take it all back!
Just looked at the photos..... USA SHIRT??? You are a DISGRACE!

mumsie2
mumsie2 on

Up the Punjab!
Hi Jamesie! Love those pictures you took in India, gorgeous sunrise, good ones of The Taj Mahal, and of you on Nelly!! Well whilst you are having fun in the sun, we are enjoying [?] typical English rain...any more and we'll grow webbed feet! How long will you stay in India? Do you still enjoy those curries?? Whatever your plan, enjoy the experience... we love reading your updates! Always thinking of you, love from us all, Dad, me, & Ossie XXXXX p.s.Timmy's Dylan is now 1 year old.... we were at his party!

bigjim
bigjim on

Got it all wrong
Hi All,
Thanks for the comments. I must admit this strange country is growing on me everyday. There's never such a thing as a personal conversation on telephones cause the reception desk always listens in like your grandmother.
Secondly driving is simple a white knuckle ride all over the country.
Everyone wants a rupee for nothing. RUPEE RUPEE.'What's the time' - ok here's 10 rupees.
So yeah lovely! AND its a charming corrupt little place. Police who plant drugs on you, MP's who take money under the table - Fat cats who don't invest in industry, roads (even after road taxes are paid), and poverty. Anyway - at least the beers are cheap. Unless you come from England, they'll happily stamp an extra 250 Rupees on the bottle.
Missing you all.

chrisy_babes
chrisy_babes on

Amazing Photo's!!
Hey Jim!

Awesome pictures you are taking!!! Makes my snowboarding/snow pictures look so mamby pamby!

Keep up the good work. You look like you are really experiencing what life is all about!

Look forward to seeing more

Christine xxx

mumsie2
mumsie2 on

Gone from Goa??
Hi Jim! Really smashing photos of Goa beach...have you left there yet... I know you wanted to stop over in Singapore, before you hit Perth! How are things?? Hope all O.K.... thinking of you...Keep up the good work [blogging]! So glad you have this opportunity!

aisha on

this beautyfulllllllllpiccccccccccccsooooooooosweettttttttttttttttttttttttttt

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