Back on track
Trip Start
Oct 08, 2007
1
7
18
Trip End
Ongoing
Sitamarhi, near Allahabad, India
Friday, November 16, 2007
I long to be clean. I am always dusty, I want to clean my ears and grow my nails long and get away from all the insects crawling everywhere. Somehow, bucket washing doesn't do the same job somehow. I have however been able to develop a much needed 2nd layer of hard skin on my feet through sheer determination to lose my so-called Westernized 'softness', walking barefoot as often as I can...
I have come back to the school this week after celebrating diwali festival, (the festival of lights) in Allahabad. Crazy crackers and fireworks are set off and everywhere is decorated with lights. It is supposedly the happiest festival of the Hindu calender and indeed it is. I stayed with my dearest friend here, called Archana, who invited me to her home in the city. It was a wonderful experience but also frustrating, as her house consisted of just 2 small rooms, one being the bedroom that her whole family and I shared together. The lack of privacy and space was so restricted at times for me I just wanted to run away for a while. I felt compelled to abide by the culture and stay inside all day sometimes. It took me some time to get used to this particular way of living where we would spend hours eating and then resting after...I couldn't stretch my arms out without hitting someone because of the cramped quarters but after 2 days or so i couldn't imagine not always having someone to talk to all the time...They dressed me in a sari and decorated me like a doll which I didn't enjoy so much...
Also the language was frustrating for me as they couldn't speak much English and I had to try to gesticulate or use the few Hindi words Ive managed to pick up. It is this that annoys me sometimes because I want to talk to everyone so much...the family were so sweet though and I felt a real part of the group. Archana claims that in a previous life we were sisters. I believe she is in fact an angel on this earth.
She read my palm. It is now the 3rd time I have been told (by different people in different countries) that I may not live past the age of 35...well we shall see...well i know you can't beat destiny... :)
Yesterday was a terrible day for me at the school. I had this horrible pressure headache that makes you feel impatient and grouchy and I started the day off badly by allowing the students out for games in the grounds which turned them these small, wiry, excitable wild animals for the rest of the day. Then in one class I marched a really naughty child down to the Principal thinking she would give him a good talking to but instead she beat him down to the ground and then after slapping him around for a bit she finally kicked him. I think I was so shocked I couldn't speak at all and I believe I cried more about it afterwards then the poor kid did at the time. It's normal practice...
That was definately painful to watch and I feel disgusted with myself for allowing it to happen...by my own 'principles' I should have stopped it. I couldn't look him in the eye today...
I think this entry will be too long for you to read if I am to describe everything and all that has happened over the past few days so here's a list for you to create your own pictures...
I see...
-through an open shutter, Archana's mother singing and worshipping her gods, her face lit by candles.
-a trailing web of electrical wires weaving through the marketplace.
-a procession of carts heaped with colour co-ordinated fruits.
-some carts stacked with rainbow coloured bangles.
-lonely wandering cows kicking up clouds of dust.
-piled high, the beautiful multi-coloured saris.
-people and people and people.
-glinting jewellry, ornate bags and sweet-coloured flowers...-
-kajol-ed babies in mothers arms
-a network of people dishing out food.
-flies swarming round the rubbish dump
-goats picking out food from a bin
-a man with a burnt leg, wheeled by a man in a gold turban
-a man with the longest, whitest beard
-fried fulci
-babies crying
-beautiful women
-angry women
-a lotus flower...
-throwing up spectacularly over my balcony...
-dropping my washing onto the flat below me...
-smoking secretly and illegally outside my room...
-drinking chai by the open fire in the hut of a student's home...
-singing every song i know just to maintain their interest...
just when I think I can't take it here any longer something or someone comes along to completely rock my mindset...a bit like the crackers that one neighbour (near Archana's home) threw at me which exploded right beside me and made me jump right out of my skin and almost into my next life...I do feel here, its a complete world away from what I used to...
Today, after my singing class one student told me that no words could express what he was feeling about the song we were singing. He told me that when he sang this song it was like he was standing before the gateway of heaven with his arms outstretched. There was so passion in his face that at one point he had tears in his eyes...I think its moments like these that make me realise there is no place I would much rather be than here...
love x
Comments
one day at a time
thanks Anna
I'm reminded of the song-
'one day at a time'
tell me- what was the song
so memorable to someone?
xxxxxxx
so beautiful xx
uauu!!
hola anna!! hemos pasado un buen rato leyendote.
eres genial y una persona muy especial. cuidate
we love you
mucho mucho!!
albert y bea
Para todos!
Remember this from your own Primary school! and often seen in schools in England. Discipline here has changed to better methods, I found something for you, the teachers and the children!
It's the famous poem 'If a child lives with........author unknown
'If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn;
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight;
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy;
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty;
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient;
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence;
If a child lives with praise,
he learns to appreciate;
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice;
If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith;
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself;
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to love the world.'
Unknown
Es muy bien si?!
best lines
I like these lines best:
If a child lives with tolerance,
he/she learns to be patient;
If a child lives with encouragement,
he/she learns confidence;
If a child lives with praise,
he/she learns to appreciate;
If a child lives with fairness,
he/she learns justice;
If a child lives with security,
he/she learns to have faith;
If a child lives with approval,
he/she learns to like himself;
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He/she learns to find love in the world.'
gd entry