More Than a Woman
Trip Start Aug 09, 2009
108Trip End Oct 23, 2009
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Off and on rainshowers didn't take away from a perfect adventure in Tikal National Park. Before diving into Tikal here, I do have one observation formed from visits to such ancient sites around the world...Tikal, Angkor Wat, Petra, Macon, Valdosta. Why is it that the finest archaeological sites in the world are located in tropical steambaths? Why couldn't the Vikings or the Canadian First Nation people have built such monuments to their gods in these more favorable climes? Not a toxin is left in my body after all the sweat I have poured out of myself since yesterday
Tikal is the second Mayan site I have been to now with Copan in Honduras being the first. So picture it...900 BC. No bulldozers. No cranes. No earth moving equipment. Somehow the Mayans managed to overcome the odds, and some of the pyramids reach hundreds of feet in the air. How they built these with bare ands I will never know, or any of us for that matter. Nowadays modern construction gives us throwaway stuff that lasts maybe 10 years before looking like dated crap. And here these people hauled giant stone blocks skyward and the timeless structures remain towering above the jungle canopy to this day.
Five main pyramids here are each separated by a long, long walk through the jungle. When I say long, I mean this is walking miles to see the whole complex. Keep in mind a liberal dose of sweat rounds out any August visit in the lowlands of Central America. Indeed, 20 degree cooler highlands do exist on the other side of Guatemala, but no, Tikal had to be built smack dab in the middle of a sun scorched, mosquito infested jungle, albeit a pretty one. Did the Mayans not like cool air because none of their cities is anywhere but this wet sauna.
The park has built wooden stairs up the sides of two pyramids and the views over the jungles and hills are amazing
The old addage proves true...pnothing good in life comes easy and that includes exploring the best parts of this national park. People I met along the way talked about how Tikal provided a life altering experience for them that made them really connect with the universe. Maybe I am missing something, and I hope they didn't see me rolling my eyes at their proclamations of reaching a zenlike peace. Come on now. Technically this joint is really nothing more than some rock skyscrapers rising out of a bug infested jungle. If anyone stops long enough to meditate, the only thing that will move the body is the amount of mosquitos on the attack. Tikal...cool for sure... but life altering? Nah.
My group was done looking at the sights in about two hours so that meant we had two hours to kill before the first bus back to Flores. The decision not to find the meaning of life atop the pyramids was definitely the smartest one I could have made because the skies opened up for an hour of torrential rain that sent everyone running out of the jungle in their drenched 1980s MC Hammer clown pants. Even the parrots we spotted in the trees throughout the morning had nothing on the colors found in this parade fleeing for anywhere dry. And yes, again, when some of those gauze pants get wet, they become rather transparent.
From our vantage point under a roof we watched one particular young lady emerge from the jungle and she was a sight to behold in her bright clownsuit
Here is the setup...white female, late 20s, about 5'10", 190, torpedo titties hanging down by her waist and mammoth dreadlocks in all sorts of disarray. And to top off this body of perfection, googly eyes aimed right at her cute blonde companion. In between her nostrils she wore a giant silver ring like what a bull would have. I heard someone throw out the name Rastadyke. Ok, so send me to sensitivity training for repeating it, but I just want you to fully experience what I am living down here! Again, not trying to be insensitive to anyone out there but sometimes you just canīt candycoat the little surprises you hear in the jungle, and you have to report it like you see it.
Of course she had on the gauze pants and a tunic that wasn't quite made for a chest already ravaged by gravity at such a young age. Mothers, please teach your daughters the value of a good bra so this isn't what they grow up into. This rainsoaked trainwreck was one of those things impossible to turn away from much like some gory freeway pileup. Her girlfriend wasn't half bad actually and seemed to take a little more pride in projecting herself as a female.
So fast forward a few hours out of the jungle to dinner time, and we stopped by the Los Amigos Hostel for some grub. The vibe there is really neat and welcoming with a dark courtyard stuffed with tons of tropical foliage. Dinner is served at big wooden communal tables under all this lushness. As a sidenote, homes in Central America in these tiny towns have a nondescript exterior but open up to these pretty courtyards where life takes place
Candlelight shined a whole new light on her and I watched how the soft flickering light danced off her greasy dreadlocks as I ate my lasagna (Yes, tasty lasagna in Guatemala!). It turns out the two girls are from England and yes, they were together. How ironic that as Rasta You Know Who had come full force into the room, the Bee Gees' More Than a Woman was playing. Yes, she really is more than a woman to me but actually is really nice.
Sometimes the old saying rings so true that a book can't be judged by its cover. Open it up, read a few pages, and sometimes a pleasant surprise awaits beneath that tattered cover. But seriously, when you get back to jolly old England, buy a bra. Please. And preferably one with enough padding to conceal your two large nipple piercings that would be at home in a bull's nostrils.
The candle came to a smoky end and signaled it was time for all of us to part ways. I can't help but think how cool this is that I am on a remote island in the middle of a lake in the middle of a Central American country. Clown pants, nipple pierced lesbians and ancient pyramids. This place has it all.