BRAVE: Top of the List of Things I am NOT
Trip Start Jul 10, 2009
77Trip End Dec 20, 2009
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(I should preface this story by saying that I am an extreme worrier. Its typically very irrational and over pretty petty things)
While riding the lightrail (that I worried over for about 24 hours, driving Kristine crazy about what times and what lines we needed to get on!) I saw a blind woman with a lead stick getting on another train and making her way to her seat. It took her a few seconds to find the door to the train and then had to pass other passengers to find an empty seat (which is hard to do on a work day at rush hour)
At the time, I didn't think anything of what I saw. As the day went on I couldn't get the image out of my head. The more I thought of it, the more I admired this woman. I thought about how extremely brave she is to attempt getting on public transit without being able to see. I thought about all of the little steps it takes to get on the train (climbing stairs, walking to the edge of the platform, climbing into the train in the few seconds that the door stays open, ect) and how scary it would be to do all of that without being able to see. I thought about how much trust she has to have in herself and her abilities to be able to complete a task like this.
Then I thought about how nervous I was about riding the train for the first time when I didn't have any physcial disability holding me back. I thought about how silly and irrational so many of my fears are. I thought about how much time in a day I waste on "worrying" instead of "doing" and "living"...and how I wish that I was half as brave as this woman.
During an educational workshop we were given tags to write a long term and short term goal on. I wrote as my short term goal to try to not be such a worrier and to not have to "overly" prepare. After writing the goals we were randomly matched with a partner that would become our "Goal Tender". We will be meeting with this person periodically to talk about our goals and what we are working on to complete our goal.
I was matched with Drew Thompson. Before being matched, he and I had only chatted once or twice at lunch. We don't know eachother very well so I explained to him about how bad my anxiety is. This didn't seem to phase him at all. In fact, he seemed like my goal to stop worrying so much was very achievable :) He talked to me about things happening for a reason and that I could come tell him when I'm worried and he would tell me "Annie, just go with the flow"...
I may not ever be as brave as the woman I saw today. But I am very thankful that I did see her because I believe she sparked something in me that needed to be sparked. And now we'll see where this leads me