Malawian Wedding
Trip Start
Sep 07, 2004
1
7
37
Trip End
Dec 20, 2005
Lilongwe, Malawi
Thursday, December 16, 2004
I thought I would send another Malawian update. I've
been working for the last few weeks to set up some of
my programs for the new year. I have also been giving
computer training to a few of the youths. I'm sure
most of you are laughing right now at the idea of me
giving computer lessons but here I'm considered some
sort of computer genius...you'll see why in a second.
I've started these classes with three students. I'm
frustrated to no end (picture me banging my head
against a wall) as two of the students still can't
remember how to turn off the computer after 7 lessons.
One of my friends once said that patience is not one
of his virtues and I laughed at him. I now realize
it's not one of mine either!
Last weekend, I went into town to accompany one of my
colleagues to a wedding. I had seen one local wedding
but this was to be my first wedding where I was
actually a guest. We were supposed to go to the
church ceremony but my friend took me to the wrong
church so we missed that (it's very typical not to get
proper instructions). We also found out later that
the ceremony was to start at 7:30 am. There was no way
that we could have made it for that time!!! So, we
waited for the reception. The reception was in a
place like an auditorium, called the Sports and Youth
Centre. It was supposed to start at 1 p.m. but didn't
actually start until 2:30 p.m. AFT (African Flexible
Time). This wedding was definitely for a wealthy
family. They had money to decorate the hall with a
couple dozen roses, balloons, white fabric, and a big
tiered wedding cake sitting at front. The bride even
wore western clothes. The difference was in the
activities.
Each guest comes with tons of small bills (5 or 10
kwacha notes - equivalent to 5 or 10 cents). My
colleague came with 30 - 10 kwacha notes which is
appropriate if you have a job. The MC calls to the
front all the friends/family of the groom, the music
starts and these people get up and dance their way to
the front where they throw money at the couple. At
the end of the song, this group sits down. The MC
then calls the bride's friends and family, they come
up to dance and throw money. Then the MC calls all
the people from a certain village...you get the point.
This was done for four hours. It wasn't just a time
for everyone to dance, which is very different from
the weddings I'm used to. The couple also has two or
three of their friends counting the money at the front
of the room and a grand total is given at the end of
the reception.
The MC later called people up who had a 500 kwacha
bill to give (keep in mind that although it is only
$5US, it is more than most people make per month).
Maybe 2 or 3 people went up. These people were given
a piece of cake wrapped in tin foil. Next, the MC
called people to give 200 kwacha bills and another 5
or 6 people went and got their cake. Anyone who
didn't give a 100 kwacha bill or more didn't get any
cake. The best part was that it wasn't even the
wedding cake that was sitting right in front of all of
us...it was fruit cake. Money really talks here.
Refreshments and snacks were served during the
reception. This almost caused a riot. I think this
also has to do with the set up of the hall. It had
tiered row seating, not the tables that I'm used to
seeing at weddings, so it is very difficult to serve
people (and even to get up to dance). The reception
ended around 6 p.m. so that people could try to get to
their destinations before nightfall. I'm glad I was
able to see this event as I like to know what other
cultures do for such important life events.
The local wedding I saw in Nkhoma was much less
extravagant (it was done on a more typical Malawian
budget). I first saw the groom ride past on a bicycle
(someone else was pedaling), the bride on the second,
the best man on the third and the maid of honour on
the fourth bicycle. Each of the bicycles were
decorated with leaves to signify marriage. The bride
wore a white blouse and skirt with a chitenje (a
colourful piece of material wrapped around her skirt
to keep it clean from the dust). The weddings are now
over for the season because people are busy with the
planting season. So I will have to wait to see more
until the dry season when the harvest is done.
This is likely to be my last email before the holidays
so I want to wish you a very happy holiday season. It
seems strange to even be saying that because you would
never guess that the holidays were coming here. I
guess that makes it easier for me to be away from
friends and family at this time of year. For the
holidays, I will be going to Tanzania. I leave on
Saturday for my two and a half week trip (the office
officially closes for two weeks, nice, eh?!) I will
be on safari in the Serengeti for Christmas and will
be in Zanzibar for the new year. I will send you the
stories when I get back.
I miss all of you. I wish you and your family a
wonderful holiday and a happy new year.
Love Ames
