Trip Start Oct 19, 2006
39Trip End Ongoing
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Last night I was pretty amazed (maybe there was another emotion too!) to see the once dark forested road to the beach transformed into Main St. Thailand with shop after shop, restaurant after restaurant, billboards, spas, resorts, music and lights everywhere. I brought my own role of toilet paper "just in case" to give you an idea of what experience I was hoping to have! I didn't realize I'd be able to get one at the 7-11. So this is progress? Anicca. Change.
I did manage to find a last little backpacker holdout (there are probably more) where I got a little thatch hut right at high tide line for $7.50 / night, with a hammock hanging on the little porch. In the restaurant chill area I found myself looking at this 20 something year old with dredlocks, a crystal around his neck and a huge grin on his face. It made me realize that I am between worlds. I'm no longer 20 and I don't have much hair (except what is growing out of my ears!) but I also can't see myself staying at the more upscale place next door where people come together on holiday and mostly keep to themselves. I think this is a good analogy for where I am in life in general - somewhere between two worlds and not yet certain which path forward I will take.
I had planned on heading to a more secluded spot this morning, but then I realized that I hadn't even looked at this place in the daylight nor had I given it a chance. I also wanted to make one more blog post and check email before going off-line again. When I got up and looked around I realized that perhaps the real problem is me. I was creating Duccha (suffering) by wanting something to be the way it was rather than the way it is. The place and myself included. Perhaps I just need to chill out and relax a little; But if hear Bob Marley's "Legend" one more time I will be glad to move on!
If you don't hear from me for the next week or two it is because I have left this beach to find a quiet place, with no electricity and obviously no email. I'll be in touch before I leave the island however. I'll also try to remember to post some photos....