Two Insights

Trip Start Oct 19, 2006
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Trip End Ongoing


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Flag of Thailand  ,
Wednesday, March 28, 2007

        There are 3 insights that one is suposed to have when doing insight meditation. They are impermanance or change (anicca), suffering or unsatisfactoryness (duccha) and non-self or "not-me" (anata). I experienced the first one pretty heavily last night when I got in the shared taxi and started down the road to Lonely Beach on Koh Chang. I was here 10 years ago at the beginning and end of my last major jaunt through Asia. Back then I thought the addition of another restauarnt / bar on White Sand beach in my absense was a major encroachment.
       Last night I was pretty amazed (maybe there was another emotion too!) to see the once dark forested road to the beach transformed into Main St. Thailand with shop after shop, restaurant after restaurant, billboards, spas, resorts, music and lights everywhere. I brought my own role of toilet paper "just in case" to give you an idea of what experience I was hoping to have! I didn't realize I'd be able to get one at the 7-11. So this is progress? Anicca. Change. 
        I did manage to find a last little backpacker holdout (there are probably more) where I got a little thatch hut right at high tide line for $7.50 / night, with a hammock hanging on the little porch. In the restaurant chill area I found myself looking at this 20 something year old with dredlocks, a crystal around his neck and a huge grin on his face. It made me realize that I am between worlds. I'm no longer 20 and I don't have much hair (except what is growing out of my ears!) but I also can't see myself staying at the more upscale place next door where people come together on holiday and mostly keep to themselves. I think this is a good analogy for where I am in life in general - somewhere between two worlds and not yet certain which path forward I will take. 
        I had planned on heading to a more secluded spot this morning, but then I realized that I hadn't even looked at this place in the daylight nor had I given it a chance. I also wanted to make one more blog post and check email before going off-line again. When I got up and looked around I realized that perhaps the real problem is me. I was creating Duccha (suffering) by wanting something to be the way it was rather than the way it is. The place and myself included. Perhaps I just need to chill out and relax a little; But if  hear Bob Marley's "Legend" one more time I will be glad to move on!
         If you don't hear from me for the next week or two it is because I have left this beach to find a quiet place, with no electricity and obviously no email. I'll be in touch before I leave the island however. I'll also try to remember to post some photos....
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Comments

jboright
jboright on

Change indeed.
Wow! A 7-11? Really?! If I remember correctly, the last time we were there we walked forever to get to the beach and didn't even run into any cars along the way... anicca is right. I was about to suggest that I'd post some of the pictures we took there 10 years ago, for camparison sake, but then realized that digital cameras hadn't caught on yet and I have no idea where the actual prints are... It ain't just Koh Chang that's changed...

Take it lite...

J

Anyway,

conni
conni on

Thoroughly enjoying reconnecting
Hi again. I've just finished reading everything in your blog. Now I think I might've breezed right past some photos, but I am actually beginning to feel tired at last (3:30 AM), so I think I'll look for pictures after I sleep. It's so great after this long silence to hear from you - everything all at once. I have so many questions. I'll try to lean more toward patience than impatience, and look forward to reading more soon. Last week we had 'Automation World,' where I ran into Terry from DLI. Your name came up of course, and we both wondered out loud how you were doing and wished you well. Little did I know I'd come home to find an email from you, with a link to this travelogue! (The event was great - all it was supposed to be, from a business standpoint. But good to get back home, too.) I hope you keep writing. (Keep your beautiful, open heart and mind, too.) Sending warm thoughts - Conni H

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