And right back to L.A. area

Trip Start Feb 03, 2008
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Flag of United States  , California
Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Glory of God is man fully alive 

That's what I want to be.  Fully alive.  Pain will come and go, joy will come and go, but I'm living this life.  Just on my drive to the airport, I once again was laughing out loud in my car - full of joy and life.  I experienced this quite a bit last fall as I came to see my own strength and that I had grown SO much over the past year.  These outbursts were frequent then and, well, they'd gone missing for awhile.  This one wasn't caused by anything particularly life-altering but it was another glimpse of how my crazy, dysfunctional, sometimes incredibly hard childhood had prepared me for such a moment as the one I had this past Monday in L.A.  I met with a guy well-known in the industry for being really tough and I knew that he was going to remind me again that women didn't have much of a chance on the road.  And instead of being intimidated, I found it all very amusing and even entertaining.  It wasn't really new information and I thoroughly respect his insights but it was another wonderful reminder that I am my own person.  And things may very well happen for me contrary to the standards out there and what others may say.  Hell, I'm still in awe that I'm even in this industry!  And it's so good for me to remember the dark place that I came from when I was just a little girl.  This business cannot scare me, I've seen worse.  Shock me at times, yes.

So, I'm back in L.A. to meet with a band manager.  Yep, I could be touring within the month.  And I could also be turning down an equally interesting opportunity to work festivals in Canada this summer.  The anxiety has been real.  And I've turned the decision over and over, trying to guess which will lead to a better future.  I've been able to bounce the options off of some people in the biz that I respect and most importantly, I keep turning it all over to God.  He has my future.  And I do believe that either choice will be just fine.  Not to say that I won't have moments of doubt at times, but I'll continue trusting and what is meant to be in the future, will be.

My brother sent me an excellent reminder last week that essentially asked if we have one hold holding onto the past and one holding onto the future, how do we embrace the here and now?  Back to the Glory of God is man (being) fully alive...in the here and now. 

I was given a nice little gift for the here and now while standing at the Frontier customer service desk this morning.  I looked back at just the right time and say my friend Stephen riding by.  We're former co-workers and he's one of those guys that I have the utmost admiration for (if you've been reading this blog since NZ, he got a shout-out back then when I met Julian in Paihia), so what a pure delight to get to chat with him for a bit - we were actually headed out on the same plane and both of us had just been booked on it just yesterday!
My other focus right now is to appreciate the humor in things.  Need to look for it more.  I've let myself get caught up in over-analyzing relationships and potential jobs and haven't sought out the lighter side of life enough.  For some people, the funny things of everyday life are obvious, such as my girlfriend Alicia.  She recently shared with me that she is contributing to the obesity of her neighborhood squirrels.  What a wonderfully hilarious outlook on something small and seemingly inconsequential!  Thanks, Alicia.

Well, I wrote this on the plane ride to L.A. and the decision has been made - I'm going on the road with Chick Corea!!!  Begin prep work immediately and will be on tour May 28-June 30 and then again July 30-Aug 8
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